tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68763605666340002572024-03-16T03:09:12.194-04:00Life on the ArkCarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.comBlogger219125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-4644565283640478172023-03-25T07:56:00.000-04:002023-03-25T07:56:25.224-04:00Jesus and Chickens<p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">Not sure I've ever written about my chickens before! Our chicken journey started during COVID, what else does a family do with no where to go, no jobs to do...you get new animals! From 6 to 10, minus 4, to 12, to 20 minus 6, to 36, minus 5 to 24....you get the point. They have become family. SG has become obsessed, she talks to them, knows everything about them, does school reports on them. She has become okay with the poo and has seen her fair share of dead chickens, most of which are buried in my yard. I do love them too. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">Last year we hatched eggs with an incubator with 4H. We put in 24 and 16 hatched. I was such an exciting experience with the kids and for us. It is amazing to watch a chick hatch. How God has created them to form so quickly, how they know from inside the egg, exactly how to crack out of that egg, how in hours they can walk. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">This year we decided to invest in our own incubator. Ordered eggs to hatch. We couldn't wait! We knew we were cutting it close on the dates, since we leave for Kentucky next week, but we had counted all the days and had a plan!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">>>>Side note....actually the whole theme...plans....I love them, I love to have an idea of what's happening in my world...God has taught me to be careful about plans...but I've forgotten...God used some chickens to remind me, it's not my plan<<<</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">The eggs didn't show up when they were supposed to, and that little tracker wasn't really helping us out! We had no idea where those eggs were! When they finally arrived all the excitement kicked in!</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjOPuwTuldBZIL1taNbv_uQvkuhAjtT0qZdIm6ELug7ImOGrU6gINpgrLEqYsKFnJnNsBQbQo6x70db-SMA3kei9zLzMiSiheDEaKLMj5jIeuf45Z5KLmPtwalwGtV7sj4HpAisIuTjUoDLnQrNVKl1CIDykkHGpl8ghTu0bApktzWYcBXQbNqsdbbT" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1800" data-original-width="1440" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjOPuwTuldBZIL1taNbv_uQvkuhAjtT0qZdIm6ELug7ImOGrU6gINpgrLEqYsKFnJnNsBQbQo6x70db-SMA3kei9zLzMiSiheDEaKLMj5jIeuf45Z5KLmPtwalwGtV7sj4HpAisIuTjUoDLnQrNVKl1CIDykkHGpl8ghTu0bApktzWYcBXQbNqsdbbT" width="192" /></span></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgqXvpqJhvdussfWS5dM2Bkn2vFeN_0HNpsJ7_ccfpug9j-SjhzfpE0QYnWvETp3g2JP2DJL7ARwwPJPCvH7cNEuujpphp9TGlGfoXWcN1Z9V0jtmWKzCHyoY-II9zDG4eusKF8iyPgikgxUUiDv8e8H9ccDEjl4T0axBJww-838qcEkyqipXWckL2M" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1800" data-original-width="1440" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgqXvpqJhvdussfWS5dM2Bkn2vFeN_0HNpsJ7_ccfpug9j-SjhzfpE0QYnWvETp3g2JP2DJL7ARwwPJPCvH7cNEuujpphp9TGlGfoXWcN1Z9V0jtmWKzCHyoY-II9zDG4eusKF8iyPgikgxUUiDv8e8H9ccDEjl4T0axBJww-838qcEkyqipXWckL2M" width="192" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">Candled 8 days later, pulled some out, but we expected that. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgWy0V9QMt9egzVegN2zzGDNqyIBHTo4bJB24kw8KoOZpKSS0wMUudZJEldf-B1OZIbubECZ-TgEY6s-cHinrVAarLiMFi-XiDmkMN5p-xyESLhH0WhdmW3zNmUYRMUgNgTWGqL3LDXGBXWuaxYxhO2JoiRsJA12UFfwi2rrRKilJLA-Ro3GyTTMQiV" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgWy0V9QMt9egzVegN2zzGDNqyIBHTo4bJB24kw8KoOZpKSS0wMUudZJEldf-B1OZIbubECZ-TgEY6s-cHinrVAarLiMFi-XiDmkMN5p-xyESLhH0WhdmW3zNmUYRMUgNgTWGqL3LDXGBXWuaxYxhO2JoiRsJA12UFfwi2rrRKilJLA-Ro3GyTTMQiV" width="180" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">Hatch day came, and we saw a crack! Set up out google meets so we could go to school, but still see these amazing little chicks! Only one hatched....hmmm.....</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiD8_HdtDjzrs2Dg7DGlWv3nzqq1DemhXyoqj-Zz5jX4AnDq2AX8GOWaDJWuVkPfFnK5wBOOhch3N1XJd6LyqKQds0dSIwvX90Oe4_AKqepqUALKneaodnK8HTPVoEPivWR9WhFSFmUXENh5haieBhRT0-aDEaIOGPcPaPIryRXmGfr6xI3f7KSWRiS" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiD8_HdtDjzrs2Dg7DGlWv3nzqq1DemhXyoqj-Zz5jX4AnDq2AX8GOWaDJWuVkPfFnK5wBOOhch3N1XJd6LyqKQds0dSIwvX90Oe4_AKqepqUALKneaodnK8HTPVoEPivWR9WhFSFmUXENh5haieBhRT0-aDEaIOGPcPaPIryRXmGfr6xI3f7KSWRiS" width="180" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">later that night one more.....middle of the night one more.....next day finally another one.....</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiI8ZagjNCzTYuFTFGM9PGnhP1Z4dUKsqC47PwY56N_KNpPkDdWTE3f8kp_T_YQcNOw7Q9DueTfkc3MAe6aaA-qO8d7KPjwRqRrDIbFIaAP499bP2L8zaUh5AtUKOKyozRwQBKl-8gTlPKrbpoC_vXwAXtm50FlLMZomUCv4SfyYVzEJFs4xZOd_blk" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiI8ZagjNCzTYuFTFGM9PGnhP1Z4dUKsqC47PwY56N_KNpPkDdWTE3f8kp_T_YQcNOw7Q9DueTfkc3MAe6aaA-qO8d7KPjwRqRrDIbFIaAP499bP2L8zaUh5AtUKOKyozRwQBKl-8gTlPKrbpoC_vXwAXtm50FlLMZomUCv4SfyYVzEJFs4xZOd_blk" width="180" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">I stared at 10 eggs still in that incubator, wondering what went wrong...got pretty down about it too. As I caught myself getting ridiculous, the light bulb went off! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">"Many are the plans on a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purposed that prevails." Proverbs 19:21</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">You see, it wasn't just the chicken plan that wasn't working out, there was another big plan that has got me trying to solve everything. We leave for Kentucky on Monday, for our Hope trip. The details and the plans of this trip have kept me up at night. Running through the plan over and over. Trying to make a plan B and maybe C. Worrying about if it all goes wrong, then what, will it be my fault...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">When that light bulb went off, God said "Carly, you don't have that kind of control and power...stop it!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">I let go of the trip, I handed that to God and I haven't picked it back up...but these eggs are still sitting in the incubator, unhatched....the plans of my heart. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">I believe that plans are good, I believe that being prepared for your day is a great thing. However when we get stuck in the plan, when we are unwilling to acknowledge, God is God and His purpose will prevail, that's when we get stuck. We forget all the million ways God has taken our plans and pushed them aside and let His purpose shine on through. These are the kind of weeks that I just have to keep digging into gratitude and memories of all the things God has done, to keep me from drowning in my undone/unfinished plans. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">That word unswervingly... not veering from the road God has us on. Not trying to take a detour around an obstacle God has put there. Having faith to trust that God is always with you, He will not leave you, or forget about you. (Deut 31:8) He has a plan for our life (Jeremiah 29:11) and he will hold your hand right on through (Isaiah 41:10)...if you believe in your heart and profess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord! (Romans 10:9)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">I've preached this to myself over and over! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">Next week, we will be back in Kentucky. Back in schools, back to sharing about the God who loves and saves. Plans may work great, plans may fall apart, however I will keep clinging to the truth that God's purpose will prevail! If you have the privilege of prayer, please pray for our travels and most importantly the life that will be touched and the soul that will be saved, even if it's just the one! If you'd like to follow us on our trip, visit our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1017629488359286" target="_blank">Facebook Page</a></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgLM5PBIVqTn7VrXh6CfbxcH6Req6AzEbCEKE5TV9S30ue27nTE-3Jfvj2psSL-yHf09S6UCEFpSJpYx716XnztU4qMIxkMDAI62-s5OUB40RN0OBZxKCc3-a3W3H5BZh8dNgAny5oun_L2uGwRuC2n087GhVSO2MfyyuWI2VfZQcfrzq3GGUOQm1fe" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3088" data-original-width="2316" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgLM5PBIVqTn7VrXh6CfbxcH6Req6AzEbCEKE5TV9S30ue27nTE-3Jfvj2psSL-yHf09S6UCEFpSJpYx716XnztU4qMIxkMDAI62-s5OUB40RN0OBZxKCc3-a3W3H5BZh8dNgAny5oun_L2uGwRuC2n087GhVSO2MfyyuWI2VfZQcfrzq3GGUOQm1fe" width="180" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">Today is SG's 10th birthday! Hard to believe it! Don't worry, Daddy compensated for all those unhatched eggs with a trip to the CO-OP! I have no idea how many chickens we own now!<br /></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhzT7T2MnjIwq7_kv2_GpbZ7FLhK0qHByVFgwTskD9fTvqvacqSDxYT75Qp2mTdYZRVhSIeGgFIiWBke0wRKQR2V0v17y1-vS2zD4hfR9e-ecoI6zuf17NxTDyl9ttmVft7HcOZwHzEWC-LC-7H7W-254sst5I0-OdqDyaDfQST5BVOwdXuz2L-eyN3" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhzT7T2MnjIwq7_kv2_GpbZ7FLhK0qHByVFgwTskD9fTvqvacqSDxYT75Qp2mTdYZRVhSIeGgFIiWBke0wRKQR2V0v17y1-vS2zD4hfR9e-ecoI6zuf17NxTDyl9ttmVft7HcOZwHzEWC-LC-7H7W-254sst5I0-OdqDyaDfQST5BVOwdXuz2L-eyN3" width="180" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">Prayers, Praise and Pink</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;">~ Carly</span></div><span style="font-family: Architects Daughter; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /></span><p></p><p><br /></p>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-33339363977483177642022-09-03T20:54:00.000-04:002022-09-03T20:54:13.775-04:00Being a Blaine<p style="text-align: center;">I officially became a Blaine 16 years ago. But I was a Blaine the moment I walked into Richard's life 20 years ago, because that's how they roll! If you ever want to see Jesus' love in action, go to my Mother in Law's house, she will feed you, chat with you and hug you and then you are family!</p><p style="text-align: center;">The Blaines are huge in numbers and coming from a smaller family, I was overwhelmed at first. Always a baby somewhere to be held and a line of people fighting over who got to hold the baby next. When Richard's nephew was born - the first one I was around for - I was so scared to hold him, I'd never held a baby that small! No judgement from then! Even though I hate pickles, they still loved me.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Whenever they got together for holidays, never an empty place to sleep, but they'd find you one. I remember the first time I saw the floor lined with cousins, thinking "this is nuts". I didn't sleep much that first night, but it was fun! No one complained and woke up the next morning smiling and ready for more!</p><p style="text-align: center;">I watched as extended family grew and grew, but the relationships between them was always so close. Taking care of each others kids, cooking with one another, stuffing 6 million easter eggs and only finding 2 million of them, watching TV, talking and just loving. Even as we got older and and had less and less time, there was always an effort to keep getting together. The visits may not include as many sleepovers but there's still 6 million eggs and a ton of food, because they are Blaines and that's what they do.</p><p style="text-align: center;">This weekend should have been the annual Labor Day cook out. Where if you've ever been a part of the Blaine Family, you are invited. Where we wouldn't hide eggs, but we would for sure cook and eat more food than should be legal. Once upon a time there would be a volleyball net with an intense gamein progress. This weekend should have had kids running everywhere, adults yelling "car" when the next member of the family came driving in. There should be a sliding door that is never closed, music and more recently campers parked in the yard from the cousins that have officially outgrown the living room floor. </p><p style="text-align: center;">But God had other plans...and that one is hard to wrap my brain around this Labor Day weekend. Richard's dad passed away Wednesday, August 31st. We weren't ready for that - not that anyone ever is, but we really weren't ready. After praying him through two surgeries, we had this hope of all being well. So when the call came, we were heartbroken. And found ourselves asking "Why God?"</p><p style="text-align: center;">I bet He hears that a lot. And here's where faith comes into action. </p><p style="text-align: center;">Why was he okay and then not?</p><p style="text-align: center;">Why was Richard out of town when this happened?</p><p style="text-align: center;">Why didn't we get more warning?</p><p style="text-align: center;">Why do we have to go through this pain?</p><p style="text-align: center;">This list could go on and on...and when you can't come up with the answers yourself, you just have to Trust God, trust that He knew everything that happened, where everyone was and why they were there. I believe in a God that has no coincidences, just a plan. </p><p style="text-align: center;">On these days where it's hard to look forward at what the future has in store, I have to look back at all He has done before and know He will do it again. We've been in grief before, He got us through, strengthened us and I have no doubt He will again. </p><p style="text-align: center;">Over the past few days, I've seen a lot of tears, but I've also seen a lot of faith. I watch the Queen of the Blaine crew, my mother in law, cling to Jesus, cling to what she knows. She is walking in her faith right now, and I know Jesus is looking at her saying "I got you, keep clinging". </p><p style="text-align: center;">I am blessed to be a Blaine, even if I wasn't born with that name, even if I don't like pickles, they still love me. </p><p style="text-align: center;">To read more about the great guy who left this world, <a href="https://www.foundandsons.com/obituaries/James-Blaine-4/?fbclid=IwAR2dnRlRBD8_dE3LC26Wjhm6be8SeuExm2-ul_IL410Gy9hk9wckXRydNSo#!/Obituary">https://www.foundandsons.com/obituaries/James-Blaine-4/?fbclid=IwAR2dnRlRBD8_dE3LC26Wjhm6be8SeuExm2-ul_IL410Gy9hk9wckXRydNSo#!/Obituary</a></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEifLrNZ5tPspHfHRxpG0p2pFcbOSW_IV17qOMu1aGMGQOj8yJz_zpG1jpdonCOCQdzxx0Caf5V2YFAmA6h4eAjvCydewB7eRT2N9UBlYOHQapaZJJRwww5-a1SQiSylQdfvGqM-Ib-v5mVIX1iftamHCnE6CXaF2zuCywcAo4rqpFeAXOxpXe_Il6WH" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEifLrNZ5tPspHfHRxpG0p2pFcbOSW_IV17qOMu1aGMGQOj8yJz_zpG1jpdonCOCQdzxx0Caf5V2YFAmA6h4eAjvCydewB7eRT2N9UBlYOHQapaZJJRwww5-a1SQiSylQdfvGqM-Ib-v5mVIX1iftamHCnE6CXaF2zuCywcAo4rqpFeAXOxpXe_Il6WH" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-148086783912487502022-07-18T20:48:00.003-04:002022-07-18T20:48:46.014-04:00Driving Down Memory Lane<p><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><span>As we drove home from the beach this year, Noah noticed how quiet I was (the boy picks up on everything) and asked what was up.</span><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><span>It was hard to explain to him how this trip down a physical road, had flooded my mind with so many memories.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">Memories I wasn’t excited about, wasn't proud of, memories that shook me, in a way I hadn’t expected, and it probably wasn’t until he asked me what was wrong, did I realize I had gone back in time in my mind.</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">I went to collage in Hampton Roads area, drove that same highway numerous times. I was a completely different person in that time. Someone following a boy to college (don’t do it), someone completely unsure of themselves, someone looking for acceptance in others, someone to tell me I was worth something and loved.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">I didn’t have a bad childhood by any means. I knew my parents loved me and were proud of me.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I danced, played soccer for a whole season, did well in school, went to church when I was supposed to, but there was something missing that I had no idea that was missing, until I found it (that probably sounds confusing!)</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">I grew up believing that I just had to be good enough to go to heaven.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Don’t ask what good enough is…that’s a pretty subjective topic!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Like my kids would say pickles are good…I think there is nothing more gross!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We all have a different idea of good, and mine got more and more skewed the older I got. I’m pretty sure by the time I graduated high school, I wasn’t even thinking for myself anymore, I let others tell me what was good, no matter what the cost.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Oh that girl…if I could shake her I would!! I just had no idea that the acceptance and love I was looking for wasn’t going to come from a boy or a friend.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>They are human and they fail, just like me.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">We are studying Jonah in VBS is this summer, and this past week I read about the attention grabbing wake up call God gave Jonah in the form of a storm. A storm that shook that boat and had all the boat people “crying out to their gods.” Jonah 1:5. You remember the story of Jonah, I’m sure! God told him to go somewhere and preach, and Jonah decided he knew what was good and he decided to go somewhere else.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>God sent a warning in the form of that storm. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">My sophomore year of college, God sent me that warning, that wake up call that life was getting a little ridiculous. He was tired of watching me let others decide what was good. I left school a few weeks into my first semester that year. I completely ignored that warning. It wasn’t my fault, I was just unlucky…the excuses went on.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>After some time at home, I went to another school 30 minutes from the first…I went right back to the life He tried to pull me away from because it felt “good”. Again I could shake that girl…she was so lost!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">But God…</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">Those two little words.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>He didn’t give up on me, He didn’t decide I was too far gone or had sinned too much.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>He continued His pursuit of me.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Looking back on it, it truly is a love story.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>A story about how much God loved me!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Because of my time at home I worked a lot.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>God brought Richard into my life at work.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We started dating, that led to a real relationship. That led to meeting his family, which was the first time I was introduced to a Baptist church.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I was intrigued. I wanted that.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I wanted that joy, I wasn’t sure I wanted to throw my arms in the air or yell Amen… but I knew there was something there.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Fast forward a marriage, a pregnancy, and now we find ourselves in a church, uncomfortable as all get out because I didn’t think I belonged. Yet we kept going and slowly God became real to me. I learned that the way to heaven wasn’t being “good enough”.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>It was through a relationship with Jesus.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>It was through acknowledging my sin, acknowledging<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Jesus’ death and resurrection, and acknowledging my need for him. “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">From there God held our hands and hearts through births, deaths, job changes, pandemics, more births and more deaths.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I found what I was missing. I found the man that loves me, pays attention to me, accepts me, created me in His image.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I found what I didn’t know I needed, and I don’t have to be “good enough” to get it, it was freely given to me!</span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">Now…I will admit I still struggle almost daily with acceptance of the world. I want my husband to acknowledge all I do, I want him to tell me I’m pretty.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But he’s human, he will fail.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I want my kids to be kind to me and respect others, but they are also human and they will fail. I want my friends to say all the right things to make me feel better, but they are human, they will fail.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I want to push all my anxieties aside and boldly try new things without fear…but you guessed it…I’m human I will fail.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"> </span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">As much as I want these things, I don’t go searching for them in the world anymore. I go to God.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I tell Him my frustrations and all the ways I’ve failed and how those around me have let me down.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And He sweetly reminds me every time, that they will never be able to give me the things I want, only He can.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We (God and I) have this conversation often…because I’m a slow learner and I’m pretty sure while living in this world, I’m going to keep looking for it to meet my needs. The only One who can is the God that created me, didn’t give up on me, took that lost girl and changed her life. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">That drive home just stirred my soul so much. Happy and sad tears flowed, regretting the bad stuff but in awe of the face that despite all the bad God saved me, not because I deserved it or I was good enough, simply because He loves me and I asked Him to. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I drove back up 64 towards home, so grateful for the changes in me.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Thankful for the conversation it started between Noah and I about the importance of repentance and God's forgiveness! Honored to be called a Child of God.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nz584yNgTEQ1ZSA3QLOWiJKhDj6RzVI7Y2JqJUH611dDFXeQyJjPE8bdFCCxdeQQ2vFhviWlJJfOHTdbXnDZY5uKnljP1g_RnoN4QzVN7sjS0vHnOXfSyMI3ogwSu0pxgsoxlISuMCx_7h9by2uF8gY7bkAHyH9iWQqQS0upYssbefl_JgGAud9M/s2048/us.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nz584yNgTEQ1ZSA3QLOWiJKhDj6RzVI7Y2JqJUH611dDFXeQyJjPE8bdFCCxdeQQ2vFhviWlJJfOHTdbXnDZY5uKnljP1g_RnoN4QzVN7sjS0vHnOXfSyMI3ogwSu0pxgsoxlISuMCx_7h9by2uF8gY7bkAHyH9iWQqQS0upYssbefl_JgGAud9M/s320/us.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">The only picture of us from vacation!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJHbUzPqlJO9GDWX4ryUJ3qlhLVs3zrOPq1vRp1kdek6uBNpX_5YjRWWfVp4pxEDjsOaG6oOnOHfrp-VHOv4jFN8uo774nFU9pgFdatfqhk-tD1aIipqt_ah-plrLZ_OVLB6bsdZgachJWy-31qEYbbaJhZeQ4s7WULIJzwQmOponiaIevgvYDK1DL/s843/sand%20kids.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="632" data-original-width="843" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJHbUzPqlJO9GDWX4ryUJ3qlhLVs3zrOPq1vRp1kdek6uBNpX_5YjRWWfVp4pxEDjsOaG6oOnOHfrp-VHOv4jFN8uo774nFU9pgFdatfqhk-tD1aIipqt_ah-plrLZ_OVLB6bsdZgachJWy-31qEYbbaJhZeQ4s7WULIJzwQmOponiaIevgvYDK1DL/s320/sand%20kids.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Rancho; font-size: medium;">And the crazy cousins!</span></div><p></p>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-47710732795939330582022-02-07T18:25:00.001-05:002022-02-07T18:25:34.884-05:00Where this all started<p>After Ellie died, there was understandably a hole in my heart. It was so empty and nothing filled it up. With her birthday closing in, we decided to have a party. But what do you do at a birthday party when the birthday girls isn't there? So we decided to do something for someone else. We chose a charity that was close to one our nurse's hearts and the idea of Ellie's Birthday Party was born. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjQ5knqjj6_RrSSb5YD7rQ6n-s3_rpcu2k-FKC9bBb0bIa6T5F05H5PNKT8gkWpzPZn85MwBYUxO1pMxd9wHItoIiHIplhSVRz5mlI1ZL0fIgjJCkdgr-gIG0uxiq9SokqSwdtz6Wp_os1pdMrRc1EN_If77gX80clheYNjbzSK0f4Eauzsy0-Or_mQ=s960" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="636" data-original-width="960" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjQ5knqjj6_RrSSb5YD7rQ6n-s3_rpcu2k-FKC9bBb0bIa6T5F05H5PNKT8gkWpzPZn85MwBYUxO1pMxd9wHItoIiHIplhSVRz5mlI1ZL0fIgjJCkdgr-gIG0uxiq9SokqSwdtz6Wp_os1pdMrRc1EN_If77gX80clheYNjbzSK0f4Eauzsy0-Or_mQ=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEigLA1zUDWPQAmeOiltFYqPl2ZOwFeA7t-zkhZwFER_2vFR7rnv1SDH4-b6XncbU98W9IzvsC8TgWlmsThBCNK0iyNREWHQSIzR9gW2K8gh6Z5rw-ltpZjuv0MrsEwDDhFvrfnCyEGLONZ38s71vwDQz1FwSxsFLZADRlHpCOcsUczUCEvrqjndSZX1=s960" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="636" data-original-width="960" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEigLA1zUDWPQAmeOiltFYqPl2ZOwFeA7t-zkhZwFER_2vFR7rnv1SDH4-b6XncbU98W9IzvsC8TgWlmsThBCNK0iyNREWHQSIzR9gW2K8gh6Z5rw-ltpZjuv0MrsEwDDhFvrfnCyEGLONZ38s71vwDQz1FwSxsFLZADRlHpCOcsUczUCEvrqjndSZX1=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p>As good as it felt to do good and watch the amount of donations roll in, she still wasn't there. Over the next few years we raised money...a lot of money for different cancer charities and kept on celebrating Ellie's birthday by choosing other charities to help, but that hole wasn't filling up. After each big event or fundraiser, I'd wake up the next day as empty as the day before. </p><p>I knew I wanted to do something that shared our love of Jesus, in Ellie's name. I think the problem was I was making it all about Ellie for the first few years. Then I heard about <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HopeForAppalachiaVATeam" target="_blank">Hope for Appalachia</a>. I remember driving to school, I remember exactly where I was in the car when I first heard them on the radio. God spoke to my heart and told me that was my next charity. We reached out to Pastor Mike and told him our story and what we wanted to do. </p><p>In 2017 we packed 120 Hope Boxes in my basement!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzbuA2gPlICL8i2RWE4cIIBPi2lPAmNwxGSfANhcKhlMwtm_LhVOjH4NBaPhfRgV7J4w8yugp2jd2EMqUew50PbJGCRSn8HNieyK6BVrWMPD2whPsxJKHjpXcLy2_y8Pnut6PXnwgZCQ2xgUsrrazShGKZfg9OfaIxlgWsctivoDzdt6-N3dQYbHrS=s1232" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzbuA2gPlICL8i2RWE4cIIBPi2lPAmNwxGSfANhcKhlMwtm_LhVOjH4NBaPhfRgV7J4w8yugp2jd2EMqUew50PbJGCRSn8HNieyK6BVrWMPD2whPsxJKHjpXcLy2_y8Pnut6PXnwgZCQ2xgUsrrazShGKZfg9OfaIxlgWsctivoDzdt6-N3dQYbHrS=s1232" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUq-o2WbbrDmtQPczpwYyG8VnaYfeCQqenDELp44FwvHPTrTecD9G_O-0oEd6yJlNgHL6uEyDLjgDsab7oeVkPzUTAGMlfzfqT4rdNS66u3EO-dZsWamL8SH2l9XHop7HDRoPuhs5YCWhtnkPH5bOzu9z_4R4donTgpZIttI7BNtnocihCM7In24rD=s960" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUq-o2WbbrDmtQPczpwYyG8VnaYfeCQqenDELp44FwvHPTrTecD9G_O-0oEd6yJlNgHL6uEyDLjgDsab7oeVkPzUTAGMlfzfqT4rdNS66u3EO-dZsWamL8SH2l9XHop7HDRoPuhs5YCWhtnkPH5bOzu9z_4R4donTgpZIttI7BNtnocihCM7In24rD=s320" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><img border="0" data-original-height="816" data-original-width="1232" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzbuA2gPlICL8i2RWE4cIIBPi2lPAmNwxGSfANhcKhlMwtm_LhVOjH4NBaPhfRgV7J4w8yugp2jd2EMqUew50PbJGCRSn8HNieyK6BVrWMPD2whPsxJKHjpXcLy2_y8Pnut6PXnwgZCQ2xgUsrrazShGKZfg9OfaIxlgWsctivoDzdt6-N3dQYbHrS=s320" width="320" /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEil2Kk-4eqYNGP1InriJSloQR_-0QkcSoqG73BGgSaTHaZiwStrvpwFRiG66i52lzu5pKSPGUPvvvNqgMiSzyww8jnF2b0qDQqMxc6RI23sF9u1TUl23NarMS2-00w5jkmEqqoAusKk0idLFlhfsDGRWKUdg3cWxZ7k_NLe2T_omRybvRqLXDhe-ubT=s960" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEil2Kk-4eqYNGP1InriJSloQR_-0QkcSoqG73BGgSaTHaZiwStrvpwFRiG66i52lzu5pKSPGUPvvvNqgMiSzyww8jnF2b0qDQqMxc6RI23sF9u1TUl23NarMS2-00w5jkmEqqoAusKk0idLFlhfsDGRWKUdg3cWxZ7k_NLe2T_omRybvRqLXDhe-ubT=s320" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I don't remember the exact feeling that next day. But a few weeks later, Richard and I headed to Kentucky on our first mission trip ever to deliver these boxes. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUdHvBgZK6DoFNLRXTxpmJQCfNLC1UOMCcYJYPIhQNA9_ZRWnDOhQOaz9pfXakHDC7cJbGSz22R4z7ukmUaLPzXEX8ONCXfxO4l26PKNCTT8CnSOQdzI2XmM6UHUDUAYU6Op-d4tDb79hgvLUXl-3ItkvSzDwHIzvyzrKTyySlE-ltmYcG5zQtgYQO=s3264" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3264" data-original-width="2448" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUdHvBgZK6DoFNLRXTxpmJQCfNLC1UOMCcYJYPIhQNA9_ZRWnDOhQOaz9pfXakHDC7cJbGSz22R4z7ukmUaLPzXEX8ONCXfxO4l26PKNCTT8CnSOQdzI2XmM6UHUDUAYU6Op-d4tDb79hgvLUXl-3ItkvSzDwHIzvyzrKTyySlE-ltmYcG5zQtgYQO=s320" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhNERzER6joarjMFW63RsKNKD-sCR_emjorIfEM0WchcQ9qQ9lkuvpssw7F8XrhBuKkDvp7ob1EvAPmDMrbDRby473Q5LTnPn_YZQoMnrskMlGkcbZ2DotTtDG5HvlJmbP04wrVrximdJjT2DJX1sR1p-7N93lBo0YwI-2IDrm2ldSGW8LDih4xkk--=s4032" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhNERzER6joarjMFW63RsKNKD-sCR_emjorIfEM0WchcQ9qQ9lkuvpssw7F8XrhBuKkDvp7ob1EvAPmDMrbDRby473Q5LTnPn_YZQoMnrskMlGkcbZ2DotTtDG5HvlJmbP04wrVrximdJjT2DJX1sR1p-7N93lBo0YwI-2IDrm2ldSGW8LDih4xkk--=s320" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I remember that feeling. I remember being exhausted in the best way ever! I remember feeling so nervous and excited all at the same time! After that trip, I knew we had found our place! It went from 120 boxes, to 400, 500, to 600, to 1061, to this year's 1625! We went from covering a few grade levels to covering an entire county. The biggest thing is that this has become more about spreading the good news of Jesus and less about Ellie. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I was so worried in the beginning she would be forgotten. Raised all the money, spoke at all the events, just so I could talk about her. That was my way to deal with grief, if I talked about her, it made her real, it made her life seem worth it. The more and more Hope Boxes we made, the more I realized she will always be in my heart. I will always carry her story with me wherever I go, be it work or to Kentucky. Telling people about Ellie doesn't change their eternity but hearing about Jesus does. God has led me to an organization where I get to tell people my story of how God used a little girl with cancer to help kids in Kentucky! </div><div><br /></div>We just celebrated Ellie's birthday for the 8th time without her. Never fails to hit me the next day. I feel empty again...but it sure doesn't take long for me to remember to fill that hole up with the thought that He has always been right there. He holds me up when I feel like I can't stand anymore. He helps me breathe when I can't find the patience or the breath. Reminders of all He has done! <div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgLTi09qFwO9NxmGv9IiPNr058wLYfIXeEl2ex6JVgBaz8r4Amz1m8mKmIClRaww0ALdjFdvl7VgFwO_iTmBk9hyvbFWzL-wzQRfTq2wU5VLuFhhkvymsY71G0yh0SqZxOeznA2OCf4Pk6MfcyiY1sJjd2-DUmLF7MTPtAx4cdd-C8FW1kHpwqQzLEa=s1440" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgLTi09qFwO9NxmGv9IiPNr058wLYfIXeEl2ex6JVgBaz8r4Amz1m8mKmIClRaww0ALdjFdvl7VgFwO_iTmBk9hyvbFWzL-wzQRfTq2wU5VLuFhhkvymsY71G0yh0SqZxOeznA2OCf4Pk6MfcyiY1sJjd2-DUmLF7MTPtAx4cdd-C8FW1kHpwqQzLEa=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you all for making it possible! Without your continuous donations we couldn't do this. Thank you for being faithful and allowing us to share our passion with you! Thank you!</div><div><br /></div><div>We have one last fundraiser to top off our Hope Boxes and purchase some bibles to take with us. If you are interested in a shirt or a hat, please visit our fundraising page by clicking the picture below! (You only have till Friday to order).</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.customink.com/fundraising/hope2022?fbclid=IwAR3Ec0HMv5RnQQerHsL17_5U8sY0wGZanl5VmhGpEfXM1vyOksJlfd-7aWo" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="490" data-original-width="513" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjyEbO5qGo76e2w1fKVLVlGOS1wOOz7nyP_15vwPdbe_50LKfHVJIxaqPCjCbhMgVG6E3fXMf8ETUnWyO7Qune_Sd3GzxSnmNiJjweNYdkI33q4k_peigMI1rjLg0PvDatZipoF308hqWOiy94Edf-vSbiA9xZlhxzP3uajPdxGHnR44CktpRu_qSXF=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;">I do have a prayer request. Please pray for our mission trip. Please pray that the doors will be open to the schools and that we will be able to talk to the kids!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Prayers, Praise and Pink</div><div style="text-align: center;">~ Carly</div><br /><p><br /></p></div>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-84629486275872231192021-12-22T08:08:00.001-05:002021-12-22T08:18:18.307-05:00Today's Prayer of Praise<p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;"> Dear Heavenly Father,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">You are my provider, able to do more than I can ask or imagine. You forgive me when I mess up and love me with a great love. You are my helper, my refuge and my comforter. You show kindness to me each day and You are faithful to walk beside me always. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">God this morning we wake up and realize it has been 8 years since our girl left this world. Eight years since I held her and heard her voice. However, I acknowledge that you ended her earthly suffering, her life of doctor's appointments, medicines, and couch laying. You brought her into your presence...which I can't even imagine. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">You have time and time again shown me that her short 1061 days was meant for a great purpose. As much as I would have loved more time with her, You did what You did for a reason. I miss her giggle, jokes about her hair, her munchies and how much she loved her daddy! But you have continued to provide such peace to us. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">You continue to assure us and allow us to see changes in those around us that You Jesus have orchestrated because of Ellie's life. You have moved people to create an amazing organization, Ellie's Elves, that helps so many families in need and shines Your light to others. You have moved my parents to serve others in Your name, through a food pantry. Through that food pantry, You brought my dad to church where he's found You. You spurred us on to do something for Ellie's birthday. Which turned into 120 Hope Boxes, then 400, then 600, then 1000, then 1600! To think all those kids have heard about Jesus, because of what you did with Ellie's life. You have changed my job and brought me back to the community that walked with us through Ellie's life. You allow me to serve the families now, that served us. You have given my children an understanding of life and grief that allows them to understand others so much better. You have allowed our sweet friend to walk her grief with her trust in You, because she's seen us do it before. You are amazing. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">Thank you for allowing me to see all of this. For giving me assurance that Ellie's death, was not the end of her life. For reminding me that EVERYTHING that happens in our lives is part of an intricate plan that we can't even imagine. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">You are mighty, You are all knowing, and I will continue to praise You in all things. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">In your Son Jesus' name I pray, Amen.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-VmjI3k6potoMXcB55pcbqiAm7bWdKVhvFnuQ_iNl6l8nkHKVv977FRjwU-MsJ82g6yLBYFtLyGKCwmburg9v2dm5zqwuL1QHJM-8GaPDpypShHBjnxNvPXvczNsgmodYN7BC4ktXbkHhBnZVJY7hMrf4R2SHp2o1UHyw5BxlxHalr3e_WUxz0Hsl=s4032" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-VmjI3k6potoMXcB55pcbqiAm7bWdKVhvFnuQ_iNl6l8nkHKVv977FRjwU-MsJ82g6yLBYFtLyGKCwmburg9v2dm5zqwuL1QHJM-8GaPDpypShHBjnxNvPXvczNsgmodYN7BC4ktXbkHhBnZVJY7hMrf4R2SHp2o1UHyw5BxlxHalr3e_WUxz0Hsl=w403-h303" width="403" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A sweet friend gifted us this beautiful painting. The comfort this brings my heart is indescribable. Here we all are together in one picture, with the One who made this all possible!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Prayers, Praise and Pink</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">~ Carly</div><br /><p><br /></p>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-18188709039087632052021-07-28T16:21:00.000-04:002021-07-28T16:21:21.750-04:00Kids in the Kitchen!<p style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">Summer is winding down! We are getting lazy, a little stuck in our ways and a little too used to Momma being home and doing all the things! My kids are typically great eaters! However lately, there has been a lot of "I don't like this" and "I didn't want this" and my favorite from Stori, "you need to make me some good food"! Umm...who are you people and where did my kids go? </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">Once I found myself in the middle of the epic "there are kids that have nothing to eat! They have to dig through dumpsters to find food and drink from dirty water" speech, I knew something had to change. After my flesh calmed down, because I surely just wanted to holler "you ungrateful people!" I began trying to figure out what I could do to help my momma heart out and to teach them a little something. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">I thought back to a conversation with a friend who has everyone in her family pick out one meal a week and tell her all the ingredients she needs to buy. I figured we could give it a shot! I dread planning a menu, so now I have assigned the kids two nights a week. SG and Lu get one night and Noah and Stori get another night. Their job is to find a recipe, tell me what I need to get, and cook their meal that night. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">I really was hoping this would give the kids some sense of responsibility and maybe just a little appreciation for the people who make their food! </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">So here is night number one, Lu and SG. The girls decided one would choose dinner and one would choose dessert. Lu choose to make <a href="http://www.catchingfirefliesgifts.com/blog/2012/06/mighty-tasty-mini-lasagnas/" target="_blank">Mini Lasagnas</a> and salad. She was pretty excited about all the cheese!</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5gXHngPLqFrsjEfMCtNP17jzBOj_G9nWuyRHM_5cfxRJ04Tt7YgTS2i0ZyIV_NJ29v0_E7lW8gpPS6JwePTW9Z751Y7W62R4a1HL7R0oEO-wCFa7wSLL_32J3Nk0AqNKQtsTPllCMklE/s2048/6CBE4AC4-7038-43F4-B8B7-8348CB61F8B2.heic" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5gXHngPLqFrsjEfMCtNP17jzBOj_G9nWuyRHM_5cfxRJ04Tt7YgTS2i0ZyIV_NJ29v0_E7lW8gpPS6JwePTW9Z751Y7W62R4a1HL7R0oEO-wCFa7wSLL_32J3Nk0AqNKQtsTPllCMklE/s320/6CBE4AC4-7038-43F4-B8B7-8348CB61F8B2.heic" /></a></div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw1h428cAiPjRMgFt0hC8rY7bb94eD_nVIALUALRFcupUiCdy5jsCIaWy7wNSoaly-i_aElr9Xh08KQNKDiwDt2bXm1-mMzat5k4Oiw-mOC3pjeCjbOJSkwpEhCfhcLIIZ7vwNYBrq3p8/s2048/743703C9-E090-45BE-A8CC-C7BB52E8B754.heic" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw1h428cAiPjRMgFt0hC8rY7bb94eD_nVIALUALRFcupUiCdy5jsCIaWy7wNSoaly-i_aElr9Xh08KQNKDiwDt2bXm1-mMzat5k4Oiw-mOC3pjeCjbOJSkwpEhCfhcLIIZ7vwNYBrq3p8/s320/743703C9-E090-45BE-A8CC-C7BB52E8B754.heic" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: center;">We had to use egg roll wrappers instead of wonton wraps...and she may have been a little heavy handed on the cooking spray, but she did it!</div></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoNSS0tNWCQtiizvXXp5zT81XjjaZmru8yn0BkWIM6yYcx_y0cWkiLYEhaEJOl6RCqdOAmlbYZRhOOZ9vO5xIKATEOXp7lgZSN4vrEAyIAOnynMMqYMmVngWkOs2yb4vGTWTX_NPaLbjE/s2048/4BEE664F-5EFF-49D1-B962-3F280469948A.heic" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoNSS0tNWCQtiizvXXp5zT81XjjaZmru8yn0BkWIM6yYcx_y0cWkiLYEhaEJOl6RCqdOAmlbYZRhOOZ9vO5xIKATEOXp7lgZSN4vrEAyIAOnynMMqYMmVngWkOs2yb4vGTWTX_NPaLbjE/s320/4BEE664F-5EFF-49D1-B962-3F280469948A.heic" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Shadows Into Light"; font-size: large;">And our salads were so delicious!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWHMC4P4QDMPgbbnEwOtoyU6VpMPcCK3SHZxmPWe6EKKa-0ZVZ0d0NTVbKByljKdwhnzHXqbP6_66H152m2ZNOy-IJhe_Fogv5CrfO82SGVa8Ph7oTq0W4uLPiZK7vLiKGAy8rfioLA4/s2048/42A60DD0-0489-44DB-8276-C14A74BA4494.heic" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXWHMC4P4QDMPgbbnEwOtoyU6VpMPcCK3SHZxmPWe6EKKa-0ZVZ0d0NTVbKByljKdwhnzHXqbP6_66H152m2ZNOy-IJhe_Fogv5CrfO82SGVa8Ph7oTq0W4uLPiZK7vLiKGAy8rfioLA4/s320/42A60DD0-0489-44DB-8276-C14A74BA4494.heic" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">Bonus, SG decided to make ice cream and cool whip for desert! I splurged with the brand name ice cream and it was oh so yummy! I can't say this will solve all our meal problems, but it sure was sweet to watch them contribute to the family. To see them learn how to find meals and prep. It was a struggle for control freak mommy to not intervene when I knew all those lasagnas were going to have "soggy bottoms" (to quote our favorite British Baking Show), but the pride they had in doing it themselves was worth it!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">We may be eating some interesting meals in the future - I've heard some of the ideas, but I'm willing to give it a shot if it helps the way we all treat one another and reminds us of just how blessed we are...SG has since prayed for the "kids who have to dig through the trash for their food" (at least she was listening to me!)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">We'd love to know if you have any easy kid recipes to share!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">Prayers, Praise and Pink</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: medium;">~Carly</span></div><br /><br /><br /><p><br /></p>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-24328262562194748712020-12-31T08:29:00.003-05:002020-12-31T08:29:31.382-05:00He Sees<p>I really thought we made it through this season of memories pretty easily. I had a few tough days, and even though I had to work on December 22nd, I made it through full of peace. We enjoyed Christmas and we are about to celebrate New Year’s!</p><p>I’ve seen a few tears from Noah, but I kinda contribute it to hormones...12 is rough (I’m gonna go ahead and start praying now for when the girls hit this age!) As he experienced another round of emotions last night, I see that it’s not just hormones, that boy has real memories and pain that he keeps on shoving down because they hurt too much. Of course counselor mommy can’t handle the stuffing of emotions, so we’ve been digging. Besides the hurt, he still questions God. Why mom, why Ellie, why couldn’t He just heal her? </p><p>This morning as I tried to find scripture for him (which Noah now says he always knows that’s what I’m going to do, because he’s lived with me for 12 years and he knows that’s what I do....know-it-all), I turned to the names of God. </p><p>I’ve been working on a scripture writing challenge from <a href="https://coffeewithstarla.com/" target="_blank">Coffee With Starla</a> all about the Names of God, so all these names for God are fresh in my mind. As I found what I wanted for him, I started to think of numerous other people I know who are struggling with one thing or another and thought, maybe this is something I could share with others. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTu2qgBEv9REwIqVnG19G_Qtuu2uZS1gLGeX3zC8nMkNeROZblZA1osRmplsWtrK10Aum44gQyqRFJW5niX6UoPtXrRxtqtt4wk7QOrfj7HaN2Vf0DNu7NFOYeksY_8Yk85efZkEXbXeY/s1000/ED05DB81-4340-4895-81F7-B7C0FAE88774.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTu2qgBEv9REwIqVnG19G_Qtuu2uZS1gLGeX3zC8nMkNeROZblZA1osRmplsWtrK10Aum44gQyqRFJW5niX6UoPtXrRxtqtt4wk7QOrfj7HaN2Vf0DNu7NFOYeksY_8Yk85efZkEXbXeY/s320/ED05DB81-4340-4895-81F7-B7C0FAE88774.jpeg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The God who sees. When things hurt like the death of your sister, or whatever you are experiencing, it’s easy to wonder “Does God even see me right now? Does He know how much this hurts?” Proverbs 15:3 tells us He sees everything, the good and the bad. So as I went to write this out for Noah, I tried to think like Noah, “if God sees it all, why doesn’t He stop the bad stuff, why does He let me suffer?” </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It doesn’t do us much good to know that God sees everything, unless we have some kind of encouragement for the future. So I went to my two favorites. Both of these verses talk about present sufferings and troubles...the ones we know God sees and allows to happen, the ones that hurt and cause chaos, death, frustration, pain, separation. As horrible as these sufferings seem, they can’t even be compared to the glory that is coming! These troubles are the things we must go through to get where we are going, heaven! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There’s this road on the way to Richard’s parents house that is horribly twisty and tiny. My father in law always jokes that someone must have been drinking when they made that road. It reminds me of these verses. I’m sure because of property lines and right of way and whatever other rules there are about roads, someone had to design that road that way. I can’t possibly know all the reasons and definitely can’t see all the underground things that cause that road to be crazy, but it gets me where I’m going. I have to take that road if I want to visit my in laws. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After the feelings all spill out, you’ve had your good cry, told God what hurts...I challenge you to sit with these two verses. Do you believe them? Do you think that all that happens is for nothing, we just live in a world that eventually ends and that’s it? Or do you believe that one day we will live in eternity with the God who loves us. Who sees all that we go through and gives us peace to just trust Him. That one day, it won’t hurt anymore and all those temporary troubles won’t even exist in our minds anymore. We will live in eternity with the one who created it all. <—— those thoughts right there, are what see me through. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It’s the end of 2020. As we head into 2021, choose to see, that He sees, He knows, and what you are going through matters, it will get you where you are headed...eternal Glory!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If there is a struggle I could pray for for you, please don’t hesitate to reach out!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Prayer, Praise and Pink</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">~ Carly</div><p><br /></p>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-29593149741773610992020-10-17T08:57:00.000-04:002020-10-17T08:57:10.127-04:00HOPEI'm not sure what's in the air this week, but man are my emotions on overdrive! I shouldn't say I don't know what's in the air. I know we are heading into the season of lots of tough but super sweet memories. 7 years later and it still catches me off guard. Maybe because in a weird way, I don't feel like I remember her all the way, so why do you fall apart when you can't remember someone. I'm not sure that's the best explanation, but this momma of 5, and two puppies (yes...we now have puppies...yes...we are crazy) and full time school counselor, is tired!
Yesterday I fell apart like I haven't in quite some time, and I know it was a good thing, my heart and body just needed to cry and it had to be a good cry. It started with this picture. <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb6CH4_TPx5CYEzAg8-It7LQorlC2NKAur23g1eQBbVFRl3S_Tmmmmp1jm5-p0YxMXtom7uPvi3otPp8H6DURznPigGihEaMF9ZPwOxWUwPi4nJwtDCyketjtpj6XNfrEKvA5zkJVgJas/s749/IMG_5111.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="741" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb6CH4_TPx5CYEzAg8-It7LQorlC2NKAur23g1eQBbVFRl3S_Tmmmmp1jm5-p0YxMXtom7uPvi3otPp8H6DURznPigGihEaMF9ZPwOxWUwPi4nJwtDCyketjtpj6XNfrEKvA5zkJVgJas/s320/IMG_5111.jpg" /></a></div>
This sign was hanging in my bedroom in the townhouse we stayed in with Habitat for Hope in Memphis. This was the picture I stared at when I had to call Richard and tell him that Ellie's cancer was all over her brain and they said she had four weeks to live. I stared at that picture and cried on the side of my bed, confused and at peace all at the same time. That I can remember, hearing Richard's voice break, knowing he was driving, afraid he was gonna have an accident, feeling like I just wanted to run away. That pain is real when I see that picture. <div><br /></div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtwUQ2G85TyGkQdIn8_BeqiEhvJuS9pPskAVuxbLeE-yK4hCosOQynQ-Kcgr3obNjmQWKc_IWnQBeGuMV2M-EWhdXAP0aWvVu7vOKLbqRtmdiKbRs8c2QtZbU9ebz7wFwcilIUserOCxw/s1080/but+God.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtwUQ2G85TyGkQdIn8_BeqiEhvJuS9pPskAVuxbLeE-yK4hCosOQynQ-Kcgr3obNjmQWKc_IWnQBeGuMV2M-EWhdXAP0aWvVu7vOKLbqRtmdiKbRs8c2QtZbU9ebz7wFwcilIUserOCxw/w200-h200/but+God.png" width="200" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div> It was like this amazing bright lightbulb that flickered amongst all the tears yesterday, <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">HOPE</span>.</div><div><br /></div><div>We stayed with Habitat for Hope, we became friends, we fundraised for them. They were special to us.
</div><div><br /></div><div>Seven years later, we are about to create 1061 <span style="font-family: Permanent Marker;"><span style="color: #800180;">HOPE</span> </span>Boxes for <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">HOPE</span> for Appalachia.
</div><div><br /></div><div>He knew then. He had a plan. He knew what we were destined for. He knew I'd try to fill the Ellie hole with something, and I'd eventually learn that I can't fill it with anything else except <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">HOPE</span>. </div><div><br /></div><div> He also knew I would hurt. He knew I'd fall apart. He knew who to put around me to hug me and pray for me. </div><div><br /></div><div> It hurts, but there is <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">HOPE</span>. It It hurts, but I am thankful for the hurt and <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">HOPE</span>. <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">Hope</span> and confidence that this world and the chaos within it will not last forever. </div><div><br /></div><div> A license plate pulled in front of me yesterday, in the midst of my tears, that said SORROW. I had to stop in the middle of my tears and laugh out loud...really God, what does that mean? Believe it or not, I found that same license plate at the end of my day in a parking lot...I laughed again, ok God, I'm listening. </div><div><br /></div><div>This morning, mixed with my <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">HOPE</span> light bulb, I get it...
Sorrow will always be here on Earth, we can't escape it. But with my <span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">HOPE</span> in Jesus, I know that sorrow will soon be erased! I will be with the one who created me. Who planned out my life and who has walked beside me every step of the way!</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJIhYkiR5OW2BIaNAD-lKn_UmixgDW7ATn0blM958SvXmVACwPY0r_MoyfFqgE4H7m3PlKzl9xYKKwPrDWE0ICwHvciHWSXLhFm6eXW5F7HIWGbi-pIa_iZXzLozrtSSaoC5lEE8u_yZI/s472/Encouraging_Bible_Verse_LHT_Hope_Jer29_11_472_446_80.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="446" data-original-width="472" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJIhYkiR5OW2BIaNAD-lKn_UmixgDW7ATn0blM958SvXmVACwPY0r_MoyfFqgE4H7m3PlKzl9xYKKwPrDWE0ICwHvciHWSXLhFm6eXW5F7HIWGbi-pIa_iZXzLozrtSSaoC5lEE8u_yZI/s320/Encouraging_Bible_Verse_LHT_Hope_Jer29_11_472_446_80.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>Prayers, Praise and Pink</div><div>~ Carly</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">If you'd like to learn more about our 1061 Hope Boxes, come join our group on FaceBook, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1017629488359286/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #800180; font-family: Permanent Marker;">Ellie's Big Give</span></a></div><div><br /></div></div>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-10084112773385052462020-08-09T15:27:00.001-04:002020-08-09T15:27:06.050-04:00Dear School Employee...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div>I've finished one week of work in my new school. I am still absolutely in awe of God. Of the things He's lined up for me to see upon starting this new job. I've cried tears of joy and gratitude almost every day on my way in...on my whole 10 minute car ride! I know God is good and capable of amazing things, I just don't every remember being this aware of the things He is doing!<p></p><p>As exciting as it is to be back at work, at the job I've wanted for quite some time, there is still a level of uncertainty. I've watched and listened to teachers this week try to figure out just how this new way of school is going to exactly work. I've seen administration do and redo schedules and class lists over and over trying to make it all work. I've seen smiles of excitement and looks of fear. And I'm exhausted! </p><p>If you work in a school building and haven't gone back in yet, here's my advice...</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuqPWYfKm6ArWHaEw2fqlIJ-V9QFSfQT4ydyqHDKEfV5XqaKhHMu62Q72e0zRFqYUGLEayuuNr4AIMwfMGmyNpdqQjowbDw1B5V77BcL5F31I6l1yP4nkYRuM2HtfoGyo6wFzEHytmPpw/s1200/Dear+School+Employee....png" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuqPWYfKm6ArWHaEw2fqlIJ-V9QFSfQT4ydyqHDKEfV5XqaKhHMu62Q72e0zRFqYUGLEayuuNr4AIMwfMGmyNpdqQjowbDw1B5V77BcL5F31I6l1yP4nkYRuM2HtfoGyo6wFzEHytmPpw/s640/Dear+School+Employee....png" width="640" /></a></div><p>No one knows all the right answers, because no one has taught like this before. Everyone is doing their best right now, and that is different for everyone. Kids are amazing, I truly believe they will roll right along with whatever we tell them is gonna happen. </p><p>We have to take our grown up expectations of "this is never gonna work" and throw it out the window. You are right, it's never gonna work if that's what we are bringing to the table. We have to put on our "Cool Blue Magic Sunglasses" (thanks Pete the Cat) and see things in a whole new way! Our students are finally going to get to see the people they love again. They are going to have routines and scheudles again! Kids are going to get their favorite school meals again. Teachers are going to get to create relationships with 10 kids at a time, instead of trying to get to know all 20 of them at once. Kids that never had an ipad before, will now have one for their school work...how cool will they feel?!?! The quiet kid in class, may now have a chance to speak up because they aren't intimated by the large room.<br /></p><p>Is there going to be hard things...of course! Hard things can ruin us or make us grow. I pray that everyone headed back into a school building can remember that things will not be the same this year. We cannot change that and the longer we grieve over that the harder its going to be to get started on this upcoming year. I pray they will help each other come up with solutions and strategies. I pray they will listen to each other and maybe even feel safe enough to shed a tear of frustration and then move on. </p><p>You work in a school because you love kids and you love helping them. Let's show them that even a pandemic can't affect our love for them!</p><p>Prayers, Praise and Pink</p><p>~Carly</p>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-56896202390088795912020-08-02T21:38:00.003-04:002020-08-02T21:40:03.748-04:00Time for a Village!<div style="text-align: center;">A friend and I were talking this morning about going back to work, school start times, etc...and she said "it's truly going to take a village"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">That simple little phrase stuck with me all afternoon. I kept thinking...what if this had happened 8 or so years ago. I didn't know the meaning of village at all...at least not how my friend intended it. I was not one to ask for help, at all. I'd try to fix it all myself. There were plenty of kind people around me that would offer help, but I wouldn't take it, or dare reach out and ask for it!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thankfully with time, I've learned to let people in. I mean, God kinda forced me into it when Ellie got sick and we had to move 700 miles away, but I did learn the lesson! And for the next however long I've got my village helping out with my girls!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm sure so many people are faced with decisions they never thought they'd be making! Choices to stay home, to go to work, to keep their kids home, send them to school, figure out whose going to watch them when they aren't at school...and I'm sure there are so many more. Choices that probably involve spending more money or not having as much income. Choices that carry a burden. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">May I suggest a village?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you don't need a village, maybe you could be a village for someone else. I'm sure there are many more like the me from years ago, who are so scared to ask for help, or just don't know how. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Life just feels crazy, a tad out of control, but this weakness and loss of control is when we can shine brightest, when we can let Jesus shine through us!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">As many teachers start heading back to work and soon kids start entering school buildings, pray for them. No one truly knows how this will play out, so give grace to those who have a different opinion than you. Listen to the overwhelmed momma who can't figure out where her kids are going two days a week. Reach out to your people, your village, see if they need help, need prayers, just need a break. Let someone help you. Be patient with changes as everyone is figuring out how to do life. Smile, even if you have your mask on! And above all else, trust Him!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV_zQW2WaG14LOy2FcKPL-dYg739Jf23JVUSfHP8dojkFydNV4hce4DSYg5gbYwiBWDrS9DuZ4sTR9HW2V8duYULvIl-AKAvzr8VumJsf7eHQp775pgaXBrLPcFasL582RVuxBkG6eShA/s1024/isaiah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV_zQW2WaG14LOy2FcKPL-dYg739Jf23JVUSfHP8dojkFydNV4hce4DSYg5gbYwiBWDrS9DuZ4sTR9HW2V8duYULvIl-AKAvzr8VumJsf7eHQp775pgaXBrLPcFasL582RVuxBkG6eShA/w512-h512/isaiah.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">P.S.Tomorrow is my first day of work at my new school...I'm like a kid of Christmas Eve! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoT2bsPq5Ga8OHmjX5aziKhuR_KVnwrLQ7CAK6r0QIRFvm3-SkktZsEKtAfKnyRhr5s56U2N_1Vwe34cg7CKMrJjqHJcUWxx0E5MhNg6FG34QWNKhnSoaNT7btAsotMl5gD1U0AjMYe9s/s1134/new+office.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="638" data-original-width="1134" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoT2bsPq5Ga8OHmjX5aziKhuR_KVnwrLQ7CAK6r0QIRFvm3-SkktZsEKtAfKnyRhr5s56U2N_1Vwe34cg7CKMrJjqHJcUWxx0E5MhNg6FG34QWNKhnSoaNT7btAsotMl5gD1U0AjMYe9s/w262-h147/new+office.jpg" width="262" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Prayers, Praise and Pink</div><div style="text-align: center;">~Carly</div><div><br /></div>CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-14619595138622742962020-07-21T09:16:00.002-04:002020-07-21T09:16:22.019-04:00New Bible StudySince March 13th...the last day we were at school, I've had the privileged of spending a whole lot of time with God almost every morning! Circumstances give me that quiet time that I know a lot of mommas don't get, especially with their kids home, so I am so grateful for that time!<br />
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The Earth's current circumstances, also have given me a lot to think about. I hear a lot of people saying "oh this must be the end, Jesus is coming soon, I see the signs, prophecy is being fulfilled". Which got me thinking...I don't know these signs or prophecies they are speaking of...how do I learn. Well just about the same time I was having these thoughts, <a href="https://www.proverbs31.org/study/first-5" target="_blank">Proverbs 31 Ministries Firs 5 App</a> announced their new Bible Study, Revelation: All Things New! Perfect!<br />
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So yesterday I started out of this new study! Thankfully, the author of Revelation, John, starts this book, slowly! I've read Revelation before, and I know it gets pretty deep and heavy, so I've been thankful these past two days to ease in slowly!<br />
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If you'd like to follow along with me, I encourage you to download the First 5 app. The app is free and the study is free, unless you choose to download the study guide. I'll be posting my notes each day on my <a href="https://www.instagram.com/mommytimewithjesus/?hl=en" target="_blank">Mommy Time With Jesus Instagram</a>, we can compare notes, share ideas, or ask questions! I hope you will join me! Wisdom and knowledge are necessary to live this life! Let's get some!<br />
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Prayers, Praise and Pink</div>
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~Carly</div>
CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-7918025327552484982020-07-14T15:52:00.001-04:002020-07-14T15:52:25.725-04:00GraceHave you lost your mind yet?<br />
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I have...multiple times...maybe multiple times in one day.<br />
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My kids, the hens that are actually roosters, my kids, going to the store, masks, no masks, going back to work, wanting to be in church, wanting to stay home, wanting my kids out of my house, the pool that hasn't shown up yet, a new job, my kids, braces, being lazy, Facebook, new chicks, a new office, a 2.5 year old, staying up to late...<br />
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Today I'm stuck in that spiral of negative thoughts, I'm stuck thinking about all the things I wish would change. I'm hung up on my kids' lack of appreciation, their bad attitudes...while I sit here, stuck in mine...yeah I said it...I want my kids to be appreciative, but I can't say I'm doing a real good job at it lately either.<br />
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I imagine that's how God feels some days. As I launch into my parental speech about how there are kids out there who don't have 100 Barbies, no siblings to play with and, no food...I want to roll my eyes at myself (although SG has a good enough eye roll for all of us!) Imagine if God showed up when I'm whining about my kids and laid into me about the many people who have no children and want them desperately. How He must feel when I'm complaining about all the things He's given me. Or when I'm not taking the time to find the blessing in my current situation. <br />
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I'm missing grace. The same grace God hands me daily when I mess up, I'm not giving to the people in my house. When my name gets said for the 100th time, I yell "What" instead of being thankful to be called mom.<br />
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I'm getting anxious about school, I want so bad to start my new job, but I understand the fears. I want to tell my girls their schedule and where they will be going what days, but I don't know. I want to tell my son he's finally gonna get to see his friends again but I don't know if that's 100%.<br />
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There's a whole lot I don't know right now...like if my chickens are boys or girls (sorry its the running joke in our family right now!) or when I'm going to get to use my Pinterest worthy new office or when my kids can eat lunch in the cafeteria with their friends.<br />
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I have two choices right now...<br />
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I can stay stuck in the "I don't knows". I can keep being irritated with my kids, keep holding grudges against them because they didn't take a long nap, keep snapping at them because I'm tired of making dinner every night.<br />
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I can find the light, I can find His light. I can tell my kids I don't know about school, but I can also tell them, I do know that God has protected us this far. God has brought us through some tough things before and I believe and trust that He will do so again. I can tell them I waited almost 7 years to be at this job because God told me to, we can hang on a little bit longer because He knows best. I can be gracious to them, because like me, this new life is tough for them too. This new schedule one day and no schedule the next can be confusing. I can remind them that sometimes we all need a little space, and I can try my best to provide them that space. I can remind myself, daily, every hour, every minute if necessary that I have a choice on how I act. I can hand them truth in scripture when they feel out of control and confused. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34</span></span></div>
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Thanks for letting me get my mind back with you all...I may have lost it again while attempting to type this with Stori touching EVERYTHING...I'm giving her grace...I'm giving her grace...<br />
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~Carly<br />
<br />CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-21645478812505494142020-06-04T17:15:00.001-04:002020-06-04T17:15:08.092-04:00God's WillMy current book is "Radiant" by Priscilla Shirer. Months ago when I was preparing for the young ladies I was going to work with at church, this book caught my attention. I started it, set it down....and recently picked it back up. This book is just filled with the wonderful truths about who I am in Jesus and lots of great scripture to back it up! Lots of things I needed to be hearing lately!<br />
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This morning's chapter was all about God's will. The way she spoke about His will just seemed to strike me in an odd and happy way this morning. I remember after Ellie's death, I didn't want to go back to work, I didn't want to be in my house, I didn't really know what I wanted. I remember saying, I just don't know what God is doing with me, what His will is for my life. I got past it, kept on living life the best I knew how.<br />
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This morning, Priscilla (first names because I feel like we'd be good friends!) reminded me of something I was taught a long time ago, but have since tucked away somewhere. That God's will isn't an end goal, it's not some destination along this path of life. God's will for me is that I depend on Him and I seek Him every day. God's will for my life is that I keep praying, I depend on Him for my strength and my peace, that I show others the love of Jesus, that I Honor God, I walk in obedience to him and engage fully with an attitude of gratitude.<br />
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It's not something I should keep looking for, it's something I do each day. And when I do those things each day, His plan, His will for my life will happen.<br />
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So I am excited to announce God's next plan for my life. For 14 years I have worked in the same school...the only school I've ever worked at. That school has seen me through the birth of all my children, the death of one, my husband going to college, my husband's new jobs and so much more. For years I haven't understood why God keeps making me drive 45 minutes to work, but I love my job so I trusted Him. Every year something has happened that's shown me why I'm still there, so I keep on praying and showing gratitude to Him for that job.<br />
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This year, God opened the door to another school. A school 10 minutes from my house. The same school that Noah went to when Ellie was sick. The same school that created <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dammfZYJ1IU" target="_blank">Ellie's Adventure Song</a>. the school that made a butterfly garden dedicated to Ellie. This school that opened their sweet arms to my family 7 years ago...will now be my new work home!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjYJCx6RTW0uKfZKQQWCrK9yiE960wXo19G9yMWe075TuB2e43q4TgSnU51lJ5dCvexe5whHhmn6O-9CbsGbHgi3E1-MtH7drBZO-SQWZjkf1_KNcICINxeXIUaIFqc3nk4WH-jyXCnwk/s1600/IMG_3825.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjYJCx6RTW0uKfZKQQWCrK9yiE960wXo19G9yMWe075TuB2e43q4TgSnU51lJ5dCvexe5whHhmn6O-9CbsGbHgi3E1-MtH7drBZO-SQWZjkf1_KNcICINxeXIUaIFqc3nk4WH-jyXCnwk/s320/IMG_3825.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
The tears that come with this announcement are of absolute joy and some heartache. Change is hard, and I will so miss my Panthers! But I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be at the time I'm supposed to be here!<br />
To my Sycamore Family, I love you. Thank you for always allowing me in your lives. You are an amazing group of people who show love like no other. Never forget to find the good in each day! To my Panthers, you know I love you. I'm sorry I didn't get to hug you one last time, but I will be thinking about you and praying for you!<br />
<br />
To my new Cheetah family...I can't wait to be part of this community, to meet you all and hug your necks, whenever that may be!<br />
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Prayers, Praise and Pink</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
~Carly</div>
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CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-74982188419258230612020-03-26T09:01:00.001-04:002020-03-26T09:01:14.291-04:00Getting Back on God's Track<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">Not gonna lie, I've been so hesitant to
start typing...<s>it's been a year</s></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">it's been over a
year since I've posted anything.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I'm started a
few times, and they are just sitting there is draft format. Thoughts that just
won't come together and make sense. Four very active kids and a husband who has
taken on a new position that requires a whole lot more travel time, has me worn
out!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">But
I've come to realize after the nations events of the past several weeks, I need
to type, my brain needs to process, I need to encourage someone else out there.
So here I am, back at it.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> Currently "homeschooling" my children since all the
schools are shut down, and oh so grateful that my job allows me to be with them
during this crisis time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">Looking
back over the past few months, I see how God has brought me right where I am at
the moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">For a
while I was sharing my devotionals on IG</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/mommytimewithjesus/">https://www.instagram.com/mommytimewithjesus/</a></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">but as I started
a book about marriage and respect,</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"><a href="https://www.loveandrespectacademy.com/respectfully-yours" target="_blank">Respectfully
Yours</a>,</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">I took a pause because the whole world didn't need to follow along
with me. As I did that study, completely for myself, without sharing anything,
I learned the most about myself and who I am commanded to be. I knew exactly
who I was supposed to be sharing this information with!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">After
last year's mission trip, I was convicted about the youth in my own church.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I had spent so
much of the mission trip talking to teenagers and listening to all they face,
that my heart just broke. But I was so scared!</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> After months of
saying I wanted to do more, rescheduling, trying to make things work, God
finally had me where he wanted me.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> With my new
Cricut in hand (thanks Mom and Cate!) I set to work helping organize a young
ladies tea.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I just couldn't wait to be with them, to share what God says is
the truth about who they are.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> On January 26th (Ellie's Birthday) I got
to speak to this sweet group of girls, it felt so good!</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I shared all the
truths I didn't acknowledge when I was younger.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I shared truths
like, they are loved, accepted, forgiven, redeemed, and radiant, each with
scripture to back them up.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I was almost done with my talk, and all
of a sudden thoughts started rolling through my head, like I couldn't hear
myself talking anymore...thank goodness for notes. Thoughts that said,
"you are talking to much", "this isn't the right stuff", "they
don't care about your story", "you shouldn't be doing this"....I
was shaken and those thoughts stuck with me all night, until I was in tears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">And
that was the beginning of my anxiety going all out of whack. I felt like I had
been doing pretty good.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I'd have an off day here and there, but for the most part things
were good. Most of February I spent with my heart pounding about one thing or
another and my mind racing.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> The silly thoughts and fears that I know
are irrational, just stayed on repeat in my head.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> Some mornings my
45 minute car ride lasted FOREVER because I felt like I was gonna get sick the
whole way, and other days it went by so quick because the script in my head
kept me distracted the whole time.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I was quickly
becoming frustrated with myself.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> Why couldn't I
turn this off?</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I believe God loves me and I trust Him, right? So why am I
freaking out over these things? I must not be a good enough Christian...but I
know that's not true either. I was all over the place with my bible
study/devotional time, I couldn't focus. I ended up listening to a podcast with
Jennie Allen,</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"><a href="https://www.jennieallen.com/podcast">https://www.jennieallen.com/podcast</a></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">about anxiety and
trust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">She
talked about her book,</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"><a href="https://www.jennieallen.com/gooyh" target="_blank">Get
Out of Your Head</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">I
ordered it, I needed it.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> It came a few weeks ago, but I held off.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I had been study
hopping for weeks and I was determined to finish the one I was in before I
jumped ship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">And
then....Coronavirus....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">I will
be the first to admit, I don't pay attention to the happenings of the world.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> We don't have
cable TV so I don't watch the news.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I don't read
articles I see on Facebook.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> And I don't read the newspaper.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I listen to a
Christian radio station, so I don't hear a lot of the news either. In fact,
Noah (he's 11 now....its been a while!) had to fill me in about China, his
words were "Mom its all anyone is talking about!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">So
when your anxiety is already on a roller coaster and then you finally tune in
to the world around you and realize people are terrified of this illness...it
doesn't make for a good day!</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> I felt a weight on my chest like I
hadn't in a long time....and I'm not a germ freak at all....but this, just
stayed in my head all day..."what if....what if....what if...." So
exhausting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">And
then they shut schools down...Guess who started reading her new book? This
girl! I'm not too far in, but I'm enjoying it.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> In fact, I could
probably spend my whole day reading and doodling, but then my kids would either
be in Barbie land (SG and Lu are all about the Barbies these days) all day or
have hurt each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">I've
slowly started sharing scriptures again, I know it's how I will be used by God
during this time of being stuck home.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"> My goal is to
share what I'm continuing to learn about my identity and my ability to capture
the thoughts that run rampart in my mind, comparing them to the truth God has
given us.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">I'm
looking forward to this time of being right where God wants me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOUNZATNLlArFP-SSgr4jlGxO251av7lmxfc3mINnDlYQgM5Kjh1j9-c-jpgzq41yCO-Zdm8hzCYCCQn0IMi4B57L7yD5aeybg5nTmz3yjycsKRxFW9JYvuTQTeq7qUks-TXloVyW-sYA/s1600/trust.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1551" data-original-width="1313" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOUNZATNLlArFP-SSgr4jlGxO251av7lmxfc3mINnDlYQgM5Kjh1j9-c-jpgzq41yCO-Zdm8hzCYCCQn0IMi4B57L7yD5aeybg5nTmz3yjycsKRxFW9JYvuTQTeq7qUks-TXloVyW-sYA/s320/trust.jpg" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little scripture with a little girl glitter and love!<br /><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">Prayer,
Praise and Pink</span><span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Candy Lane"; font-size: 16pt;">~ Carly<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-1652944180581269152019-02-14T18:31:00.002-05:002019-02-14T18:31:43.137-05:00Talking to MyselfThere's a song called "Dear Younger Me"<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
It's been stuck in my head...thinking that its been 6 years since this all started, 6 years since that first <a href="https://lifeontheblaineark.blogspot.com/2013/02/ellie-marie.html" target="_blank">blog post</a> about Ellie being sick. Six years since our world was forever changed, six years since we opened up and let the world in, let the world love us and pray for us and help us.<br />
<br />
What would I say to that younger version of me? What would I tell that very pregnant girl, who was a control freak and a planner, who thought she had her whole life kinda figured out. Who was in church all the time, learning and teaching, but had never really gone through something.<br />
<br />
There's a line in the song that says:<br />
"Do I go deep and try to change the choices that you'll make 'cause they're choices that made me"<br />
<br />
Would I go back and tell myself all the stuff ahead of me? Would I warn myself that this is gonna hurt more than anything I've ever experienced before. Would I tell me how the story ended? Would I change anything? Would I want anything to be done differently?<br />
<br />
Here's the crazy thing....I think the answer is no.<br />
<br />
I know that I couldn't change the outcome. And if I knew the outcome, would I have sat around waiting for it to happen? Would I have trusted God like I did? Would I have written the things I did, met the people I had met? Would I have prayed as hard as I did? Would Richard and I be as close? Would we have even tried St. Jude?<br />
<br />
So maybe, I'd tell myself, God is good. Cling to Him. Things will hurt, you'll feel like you can't breathe....but you will make it, and you will come out on the other side, the same girl, but totally different. Your heart will be changed, and you will know the love of God even more than you ever thought possible.<br />
<br />
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Prayers, Praise and Pink<br />
~ CarlyCarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-67942148890773570162019-01-14T10:31:00.001-05:002019-04-14T06:33:13.065-04:00The other side of the story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Ever story has two sides. In a world of Facebook and Instagram, we often only see and share one side of our story. We share the happy, the sweet, the funny...we often don't share the tough stuff...because "what would others think!" This past year, I didn't share much! I didn't want to be a fake and make life look all rainbows and unicorns (SG's new obsession) but I also didn't want to share and let people know that I was struggling, I didn't want help, I just wanted to be fixed.</div>
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<br />
Stori is a year now...wow, life with these four in this house, can be absolutely a blast and to the bone exhausting.<br />
<br />
The past year I have learned a lot about myself, and it has given me a story about myself and my health, that while it was happening, I didn't understand it, but now that I'm past it, I realize it was another part of a story to share. Honestly, I've had this typed up for a month now, but was hesitant to share...it's a lot of personal info...and does anyone really need to know all this? But then I got a message tonight, that just completely confirmed, this story...my story of the past year, is one to share.<br />
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While I was pregnant with Stori I was put on a low dose of blood pressure medicine. What I thought was really bad "white coat syndrome", was causing my blood pressure to sky rocket when I got into the doctor's office. I'd do my best to not think about it, but it never failed...I'd get to the office, and I could feel the panic creeping up, my heart start to pound, and my pulse race. So with the addition of a very lose dose of meds, it was back in control.<br />
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After Stori was born, I was told I could just stop taking the meds, but two weeks after she was born, I started getting headaches that I couldn't get rid of, so Richard suggested I check my blood pressure, it was a little high. I went to my OB's office, and all the tears and fears came rolling out. I was put back on my low dose medicine, and told to come back in two days to check it again, but if it got bad, I needed to go to the ER. I began to have irrational fears of being hospitalized for my high blood pressure. How was I gonna feed Stori if they put me in the hospital, I'd have to take her with me, she's only two weeks old, who is gonna take care of the kids, what hospital do I go to, what if Richard is at work and I have to take all the kids? I couldn't function, I walked around with my brain on constant overdrive. I was going to bed at 6:30, because I just couldn't stop thinking and stressing or taking my blood pressure for the 50th time that day. The OB finally sent me back to my regular doctor, where I again cried and shared all my fears. I had always read about Postpartum Depression (PPD), but had never heard anything about postpartum anxiety, but here I was.<br />
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I hadn't cried this much in front of strangers in a long time, I just needed my brain to stop, but I couldn't find the off switch. I just wanted to feel like a normal, overwhelmed momma of 5 (please see the ironic nature of that statement!) My sweet husband would try to reason with me about why everything was going to be fine, even hid the blood pressure monitor from me, but it didn't matter, my mind continued to race.<br />
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I prayed....oh how I prayed, up and down the road to the doctor, I'd pray. "God please take this away, please bring my blood pressure down, please stop my mind" I'd try reminding myself of all God has done, how I hadn't been put in the hospital yet, and if I did it would be okay, He would take care of me. Then I felt like a failure because I couldn't pray it better. I couldn't be strong enough to believe God would take care of it, because I kept trying to figure out how I was going to fix it. I was exhausted, mentally and physically and see how easily a new mom could slip into PPD.<br />
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Through more tears, I finally asked about anxiety meds. The weight of the world started to come off my shoulders. I started to feel like a human again, I was smiling and feeling kind of normal. I was able to come off my blood pressure medicine, and started to feel like I was doing something right again.<br />
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Then my heart skipped a beat....literally. I thought "that's odd...maybe that was in my head". Then it happened again. I really didn't want to call the doctor, I don't like being the sick one, the one who feels like she's loosing her mind, heaven forbid something be really wrong with me....the fears and anxieties I thought I had under control started all over again. This was my low point, I was so over having something wrong with me, over feeling crappy, over all the doctor's appointments, over not feeling like myself. I hadn't told anyone really what was going on, because I just wanted it to be over, and if I didn't acknowledge it, maybe it would go away...it didn't. I ended up back at the doctor for an EKG, which didn't show any thing. But after some more tears with another doctor, we agreed that I needed something to help calm me down a little more, and a trip to a cardiologist.<br />
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I was in disbelief that this was all happening...why couldn't I get in under control...why couldn't I handle this all on my own....maybe the problem was I truly believed that "I" could control or handle any of this. I was praying for it all to go away, and because it didn't, I saw myself as a failure, instead of seeing this all as part of God's will for me at the moment. (hindsight is amazing!)<br />
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After more heart monitoring and tests my heart is good, just has some extra beats. Who knows where these beats showed up from, but here they are, a new part of me.<br />
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Life has calmed itself down...well as much as it can! I feel like I can breath, my mind isn't racing, and I'm not biting heads off anymore. My prayer was answered...just not on my timing...God's! I like me way better right now, however along with anxiety meds, has come additional weight, which isn't what any mamma wants after she just had a baby, but at this point, being happy and good for my children and husband, is way better than looking skinny :)<br />
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This past year has really pushed me to uncomfortable places for myself. I'm horrible at asking for help, sharing my struggles or feelings, and at trying to control my world. God put me in a place where I had to do all these things...and I survived (and never saw an ER, despite all my fears). I was forced to face the fact that I don't control my life, and despite my best attempts at praying for "my way" God always has a plan. Had none of this happened, I probably wouldn't have realized how my anxieties were starting to rule my life, and its okay to ask for help! I wouldn't have made 100 trips to the doctor (ok just a little exaggeration), I wouldn't have had to make all those phone calls worried what the nurse was going to think about me....I wouldn't have grown.<br />
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This is my story. I realize everyone has a different story. I was given a gift through Ellie's journey with cancer, the gift of story telling. This is part of my story that isn't all that exciting and definitely not fun, however I was given it, just like I was given Ellie's story, and I can't help but think that this part, just like cancer, could touch another heart that is struggling.<br />
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So there's the other side...the side that doesn't look so pretty, the side where I show you that we definitely don't have it all together! The side where I acknowledge I needed a little medical help to get life in check. But here we still are! Given another day to share, to love, to cry, to appreciate, and to thank God for the story He has given me, I forget to do that a lot when frustrations take over!<br />
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Prayer, Praise and Pink<br />
~Carly<br />
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<br />CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-91783871138834369232018-09-09T20:35:00.002-04:002018-09-09T20:35:47.957-04:00Good Grief Carly Blaine<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know if Charlie Brown was ever a hot mess...but I sure was today!</div>
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The reality and memories of what we were doing today, set in about noon yesterday. Today's was Stori Anne's baby dedication at church. The day that we stand up in church as her family and dedicate ourselves to making sure she knows who Jesus is and the ultimate sacrifice God gave in His son dying on the cross for us. We have done this with each of our children, and it's always sweet to have our family surround us and promise to help us raise her knowing Jesus. How could this possibly be a sad day?!?!</div>
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It started with a dress. I couldn't find the dress. We have a lot of girls....we have a lot of girl clothes...after Lulah, I started getting rid of some clothes, well all of them, except a select few. I made my sister an "in case you ever have a girl" box of clothes with some of the most important girl clothes I had from my girls. I wanted Stori Anne to wear the same dress Lulah wore at her dedication, which is the same dress SG wore at Ellie's' funeral.</div>
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I looked everywhere, I couldn't find the "pink perfect dress" as Ellie called it, anywhere. I came across another pink sparkly dress (go figure we still had one!) and that would have to do...it didn't stop me from continuing to look and relook in places all evening. Then this morning I couldn't find the sparkly headband with the white flower, these little things were piling up, and before I knew it I was in the bathroom putting make up on and crying...which was my first clue I should have just given up at that point. None of the girl's outfits matched...and that started to drag me down...nothing seemed to be going right....<br />
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All I could think about was SG's baby dedication. Ellie was there, she was bald and beautiful. Ellie and SG had on matching outfits.<br />
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Family was there, just like they would be again today, monkey was there too. Richard's brother came, he was here again too. My heart just felt so sad and empty, and to be honest, I just wasn't that excited about today.<br />
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As I curled my hair...on this rainy day...clue #2 I should have just given up on looking put together...I looked up in the corner of my mirror, at a verse I placed there. It reads...<br />
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"Be sober and on alert, your adversary the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8</div>
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I knew I put it there for a reason. I was prey....and I had just about threw up my white flag and admitted defeat on the day. I reached out to a friend and prayed. I changed my sweater to my "Ellie sweater", gathered up the troops and out the door we went.<br />
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We got there, our family got there, and I still couldn't find my happy...I felt like a fake...here at church to dedicate myself to raising my child to know Jesus, and I felt so far from Him. </div>
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Here we go, up front, in front of the people who have loved us, held us, cried with us, cooked for us, babysat for us...and I still can't get it together. Preacher looks in my eyes and starts to talk...I loose it. I was holding Stori Anne but was desperate for a hand to hold, I finally found Richard's leg and clung to his pants. I cried...my heart hurt...this is grief....5 years later and man does it still hurt. He said the words, "they already have one with Jesus and they will make sure Stori is there as well". With Jesus...my Ellie is with Jesus....lump in the throat. </div>
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We finished, still crying, desperately needing a tissue...and then we sing. I don't believe in coincidences...."This is my story, this is my song..." all that weight just left, and I was filled with joy.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I found the hair bow :)</td></tr>
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I get it God, my story isn't over, its still being written, and I have a tendency to feel like the best parts of my story have already occurred, that my "big impact" in life has already passed....but that was just the beginning. Grief is part of my story, it's part of my everyday life. It's why I don't get all worked up about a lot of things, but can't get past a missing pink dress. Grief will forever be how I came to truly know who Jesus is.<br />
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<span class="text 2Cor-4-16" id="en-NIV-28876" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">"Therefore we do not lose heart.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28876A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28876A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28876B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28876B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> we are being renewed<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28876C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28876C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> day by day.</span><span class="text 2Cor-4-17" id="en-NIV-28877" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28877D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28877D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="text 2Cor-4-18" id="en-NIV-28878" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28878E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28878E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor 4:16-18</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lulah's Dedication Day</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW_wBwr89xV9EGmcQXhfaJrt_a4xJxY81foNiuj0ohfzbkwdDy6CDNsWnqCExM3IBCDpeufsvcjlAbt8U5Ed4XAkrV3gs5CT5dV3U3zFL1gQTc73mt-CiIKKD97LdFPsT5tu_zyxLcjDc/s1600/IMG_7528.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW_wBwr89xV9EGmcQXhfaJrt_a4xJxY81foNiuj0ohfzbkwdDy6CDNsWnqCExM3IBCDpeufsvcjlAbt8U5Ed4XAkrV3gs5CT5dV3U3zFL1gQTc73mt-CiIKKD97LdFPsT5tu_zyxLcjDc/s320/IMG_7528.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SG's Dedication Day</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGp8yLf4qlOkWpk8HmMUefGZlfai2c6okd8gSkmMGOcaMjsea22PdWrDS9_5MIxanuSE3Sey0yfELQuRLapIP6E69ykdaZ-wO9qnOQc4wrTGmG3vmmi0TT0qEv4oVhzl5nbwfU3Kbhs_I/s1600/IMG_7529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="480" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGp8yLf4qlOkWpk8HmMUefGZlfai2c6okd8gSkmMGOcaMjsea22PdWrDS9_5MIxanuSE3Sey0yfELQuRLapIP6E69ykdaZ-wO9qnOQc4wrTGmG3vmmi0TT0qEv4oVhzl5nbwfU3Kbhs_I/s320/IMG_7529.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ellie's Dedication Day</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9DJrknfuUdQJePK-GwZjsXeIQlAiYBDynVNuNU7vWBA6Rof4eyL1_Ck-zL0xBm4U5PHBSEmifeHHuARDPTzf5f-ei15c_0agWTqLjPe2hoUpHdi1jlWr3aRNinSa1gmP33VJWpiPE4aY/s1600/10400719_1026673988382_6109_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="604" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9DJrknfuUdQJePK-GwZjsXeIQlAiYBDynVNuNU7vWBA6Rof4eyL1_Ck-zL0xBm4U5PHBSEmifeHHuARDPTzf5f-ei15c_0agWTqLjPe2hoUpHdi1jlWr3aRNinSa1gmP33VJWpiPE4aY/s320/10400719_1026673988382_6109_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not Noah's dedication day...but didn't want him to feel left out!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: helvetica neue, verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">~ Carly</span></span></div>
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and just for fun....<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO_dUP_lf1Rnw20-oMYiAwIBQp-rhqtnjykuUqY23y3zubbX6mBnPeBpLGWIQ1PIW_rc_J6gaw-UY0woe53DSijyeIsnDTVNrM9SXvItmG0z92BZgnikrkttubcuAcvdmUe4ZGlGjsHbg/s1600/IMG_7503+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO_dUP_lf1Rnw20-oMYiAwIBQp-rhqtnjykuUqY23y3zubbX6mBnPeBpLGWIQ1PIW_rc_J6gaw-UY0woe53DSijyeIsnDTVNrM9SXvItmG0z92BZgnikrkttubcuAcvdmUe4ZGlGjsHbg/s320/IMG_7503+%25281%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lulah needed to be in our picture, and Richard didn't want to be....love my people!</td></tr>
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CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-41650766063977107352018-08-18T15:32:00.002-04:002018-08-18T15:32:23.009-04:00InvisibleThe kids started school this week...and when I say kids I mean, Noah in 5th grade and SG has entered Kindergarten!<br />
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That's right...I have two in school! How did she grow up so fast? I'm excited for her and nervous all at the same time. Her love of life is tremendous, but her meltdowns can also be full of emotion! She has sailed through the first week with excitement and energy! A sticker every day in her folder, some meltdowns at home, but I'd say its been a successful week...for the kids. </div>
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The first day of school, about 10 minutes from school, I started to cry. It's then that I realize this shouldn't be my first girl to go to kindergarten. I should have sent Ellie to kindergarten two years ago. I should be bringing three kids to school with me, I should have a second grader too. All SG's milestones are marked with a tiny bit of sadness. She was born the year <br />Ellie died, so its always a reminder of how long it's been since I've seen Ellie's face. </div>
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SG isn't my oldest girl, yet she is my first girl to do all the things. I imagine it's going to be this way all her life for me, that tiny piece of me that remembers the daughter no one sees. I fully trust that God had a different plan for Ellie's life, and know that having her with Jesus now, means I don't have to ever worry or doubt that I will see her in eternity. The sad days are so few and far between...the grief becomes invisible, like Harry Potter wrapped up in the invisibility cloak (H.P. is Noah's newest obsession). You can't see it, and most of the time I don't see it either, you may sense a little something, but its so well hidden! Then something like the first day of school rolls around and BAM! The cloak is pulled off and there's the sadness and tears. Gotta put the cloak back on because no one needs a school counselor crying on the first day of school...its my job to deal with others' tears! But as the days go on the sadness just becomes too hard to cover up, and even though I'm not constantly thinking about it, it eventually becomes to big for the cloak and I have to show someone the tears. Thank goodness I'm surrounded by some people that don't mind my tears, and realize that I may look like I'm crying about bus dismissal or making dinner, but I'm really crying over my daughter that should be there at school with me, and isn't. </div>
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So I've been praying for the other parents and grandparents like me out there. I know it hurts, no matter how many years it's been. I know a part of you is missing, and some days its totally easy to function with out that part...kinda like your tonsils. But other days, it feels like the part of you that is missing is a vital organ, like your lungs, and without it you just can't breathe. You know your child existed, they aren't invisible, they will live on in your thoughts and memories and words. It's okay to talk about them lots, it's okay to wonder what they'd be like, its okay to be okay or not be okay. It's okay to ask God "why"...but make sure you wait and listen for the answer!</div>
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I pray your school year has been off to a great start, and if it hasn't started yet, I pray it's a good one! Enjoy all the moments, breathe deep, count to 10, drink another cup of coffee and thank God for all that you have!</div>
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Prayers, Praise and Pink</div>
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~Carly</div>
CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-17161665738969793722018-05-30T23:59:00.001-04:002018-05-30T23:59:05.799-04:00SilenceI have a love hate relationship with silence. My guess is most parents have this same relationship. I am sitting in silence right now because I can't turn my brain off and its the only time I can devote 100% to this computer screen, but even in the silence I have music in my earphones because complete silence is too much.<br />
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When Richard and Ellie left for St. Jude and it was just Noah and I here, I hated the silence. It was a constant reminder of what I was missing and just a little creepy because I was here alone.<br />
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After Ellie died I hated the silence again because I would get lost in my thoughts that hurt and were overwhelming, but loved the silence because the chaos of fighting cancer was over.<br />
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Through the journey with cancer and parenthood, I've learned to embrace silence. It's time that I have to myself. Time that I can think (I just wish it wasn't at 11 at night or 5 in the morning), time that I can pray, time that I can read. It's also a time I get easily distracted and lost in all kinds of random thoughts. <br />
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This weekend I had the rare opportunity to only have one kid at home all weekend, and she doesn't talk, so there was a lot of silence. As we've added more kids to our family, silence is something that doesn't really happen around here. Someone is constantly talking, dancing, crying, arguing, singing, needing something. They are only quiet when they sleep or if the TV is on....but even sometimes that doesn't do the trick. I enjoyed time to myself, and I really thought I'd get all caught up on this blog. I have two posts I've started and haven't finished. Every time I sat down and opened my computer, in silence, I found a way to avoid the silence and thoughts. Laundry would need to be done, Stori Anne would cry, I'd get hungry, decide to go through the toys because the kids were gone, attack Noah's legos....I even resorted to exercise. Anything to break the silence....the thing I had been looking forward to.<br />
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What's up with that?<br />
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As I sit here finally facing the silence, because tonight I can't escape it, I realize that I ran away from that silence because it contains so many emotions, thoughts, anxieties and sometimes being numb to all that is so much easier.<br />
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The past few weeks have been tough. SG graduated from preschool! So proud of her and her love of learning and school. It also made me realize none of my kids had "officially" graduated from preschool before. Noah got pulled out of preschool because we left for Memphis, Ellie never made it to preschool, and now at kid number 3, I'm sitting in my first preschool graduation.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilMGLIkAzMnau-YVyjCNOVyCrR5BldIq0Qv8_7I9btS4BemhnC-8OfqbEB0LmHG20B-cn8qaGU97zakoefPoEif6Wl_fdzTEenp0O2XSpUTuLuK4VwCl3EJV6EvEsfpoTpEtzMZ5F9F08/s1600/grad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="636" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilMGLIkAzMnau-YVyjCNOVyCrR5BldIq0Qv8_7I9btS4BemhnC-8OfqbEB0LmHG20B-cn8qaGU97zakoefPoEif6Wl_fdzTEenp0O2XSpUTuLuK4VwCl3EJV6EvEsfpoTpEtzMZ5F9F08/s320/grad.jpg" width="212" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwaL8vh97vJMGI_bVWFZkckk9L_dMi1JaDbnMxHgL9C3dY099t1A80fmb3Se2Q3LgwO7cBeyzQC1Wz4Kb5Y0nBg-SWSN_cONyhp4ECt9Am1-vEYmSNaPa37QSDeSBSuTVXZEG6wC-1IR4/s1600/grad2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwaL8vh97vJMGI_bVWFZkckk9L_dMi1JaDbnMxHgL9C3dY099t1A80fmb3Se2Q3LgwO7cBeyzQC1Wz4Kb5Y0nBg-SWSN_cONyhp4ECt9Am1-vEYmSNaPa37QSDeSBSuTVXZEG6wC-1IR4/s320/grad2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Then Mother's Day rolled in, which doesn't really upset me, I'm still Ellie's mom and will always be. I have 5 children and don't get near as anxious to tell people that anymore. Richard got the girls and I these cute shirt, and we proudly rocked them to church, and I was fine with it all...until I saw this picture<br />
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She's missing, we rushed and didn't grab monkey. It was hot and they were not being so silent. From this day on, there's just been little moments that have hit me hard...and I've kinda been running from them.<br />
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So the silence I thought I was getting this past weekend I filled with noise. I indulged on episodes of Chuck of Amazon, watched sappy movies, crocheted, ate left overs all weekend (except the really awesome steak and shrimp dinner Richard made me). I didn't take the time to really use that silence to talk to God about all the emotions I'd been escaping, or come and finish the blog I had started because that would mean I'd have to be quiet and think. Finally tonight, I couldn't run from the silence any longer, I've had to sit in it and listen. Listen to God tell me to stop trying to drown out the silence, to sit in the silence and let Him get a hold of me in whatever way He wants.<br />
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Thanking God for His silence tonight, and catching me when I try to run away</div>
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Prayers, Praise and Pink</div>
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~Carly</div>
CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-30179572216541419602018-03-29T21:41:00.000-04:002018-03-29T21:45:20.463-04:00Baby CincoThe minute I thought I was pregnant with baby #5 aka Cinco, I started counting 9 months and realized that this baby would be a factor in the next mission trip. After coming home from Kentucky, I knew Hope for Appalachia was something we wanted to do again and something we wanted Ellie's Big Give to continue to support, but a new baby was going to put a kink in some things...so I just pushed the thoughts aside and reminded myself that was months away, we'd figure something out.<br />
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Also after coming home from Kentucky, Noah had proclaimed he really wanted to go on the trip next year. When we went to the get together with all the mission trip folks, there was a sign up sheet for the 2018 trip and Noah immediately went and wrote his name down, without even asking if Richard and I were going, he was a boy on a mission!<br />
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So after confirming we were pregnant, I set out to find a new doctor, closer to where I work. I was anxious going somewhere new, knowing I'd have to explain the whole "fifth pregnancy, only 3 living children" situation. Well go figure there's only one doctor's office that delivers babies near work, and the doctor that delivered SG was now at that office! (thanks God for working that all out for me!)<br />
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After a little scare, and we knew this baby was growing good, we decided to announce baby #5 to our kids and family. Noah was in disbelief, SG wouldn't leave my side she was so excited, and Lulah could have cared less!<br />
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Sometime over the summer, I was convinced that we could do more boxes this year....and by more, I don't mean just a few more, like 3 times the amount we did last year. I thought of all the excuses in the world, and a million "what ifs" as to why we couldn't do this, and I was reminded nothing is too big for my God, and before I knew it 400 plastic boxes were purchased and sitting in my basement...no turning back now! We started collecting items at church and of course the awesome community that surrounds our family started pitching in too. Back to school time was so exciting, searching for who had the best deals on crayons and markers. Financial donations came in and I could online shop in bulk and get more great deals!<br />
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As the summer went on and pregnancy progressed, the reality of a baby coming really sunk in and the mission trip was always looming in the back of my mind. I selfishly felt that if I helped coordinate 400 boxes, I should get to go deliver them...and God quickly reminded me, it's not about me, its all about Him, and how in the world was I going to leave a 3 month old for a week or take that baby with me all the way to Kentucky while I was in and out of schools for a week! Again, I pushed the thoughts aside and focused on better things like...where in the world are we going to put a baby in our house?!?! SG and Lulah already share a room, and Noah finally got his own room last year and its painted bright blue and green! Fingers were crossed for a boy and then the baby could eventually sleep in Noah's room!<br />
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Of course Noah wanted a brother, I think we all did for Noah's sake. We agreed to let him come to the ultrasound to find out boy or girl, but then the boys put a spin on it...they are sneaky like that. I was told not to look at the screen when she took "the shot" and she wrote it down and gave it to the boys who then when out to dinner and opened the card together to find out boy or girl, it was then up to them to let the rest of us know the gender.<br />
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Those boys worked and worked for two days on "something" behind closed doors...all I knew was it involved Legos. I was expecting this elaborate structure, but when they finally emerged, out they came with a little house....with about 4 more little lego boxes inside of it, each with a lego figure representing a family member! When I finally got to the last box, out emerged a lego princess. Another girl, Noah is just meant to be an only boy!<br />
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Hand-me-downs and Hand-me-backs started rolling in (we had kinda gotten rid of all our baby stuff..oops). We continued to also collect for our 400 boxes all at the same time! Donations were rolling in and before we knew it, my shelves that used to house yarn and crafts now all had school supplies on them, it was so exciting to watch our church family and community get so involved.<br />
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I finally came to grips with the fact that I would not be going on this mission trip, and I had peace with that decision. I knew it would be hard to have my boys leave, but I knew it was the right thing to do, and besides, we had a baby to name...I couldn't spend my days wallowing in self pity! We had so many conversations about a baby name, with a range of suggestions from Rainbow Sprinkles to Cookie to Claire...you can figure out which kid suggested which! We went round and round....the problem being Sarah-Grace and Lulah both have "stories" behind their names. I felt like just picking a random name, just didn't fit into our family! One day while scowering the baby name websites, I came across the name Story, and I got chills, I loved it....but that name is so different! I ran it by Richard and he seemed unimpressed, so I wrote it on the list and just let it be. We went through quite a few other names, but as soon as I heard this song, I knew what my number one pick was.<br />
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So about 2 weeks before she was born, we decided on Stori Anne Marie Blaine. Her name is a constant reminder of the story of our lives, and how it is our job to share it with others, share how good God has been to us to carry us through those tough times in life and the love he has for us.<br />
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She weighed the exact same amount as Ellie, which was a sweet little touch from God! The kids adore her...a little too much sometimes. She is calm and peaceful and so sweet, and the perfect addition to our family!<br />
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Like with all major life events, this one was another reminder of Ellie not being physically here with us, that life will continue to move on, and it's up to us how we choose to live it. I still look at my girls and wonder what it would be like if they were all 4 here, would they all be blondes, would anyone have my hair, would they get along better or continue to fight like they do now but I also look at them all (all 4) and thank God that I was chosen to be their mom. Each is so special, and different and perfect in her own way (even when I struggle to see it)!<br />
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As I type, Noah and Richard are in Kentucky with Hope for Appalachia. Tomorrow they will be delivering all those 400 boxes to the students at Rosspoint Elementary. I can't wait for them to come home (because single moming it is super hard) and hear about all the different experiences they had!<br />
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Prayers, Praise, and Pink<br />
~Carly</div>
CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-76663746684022585592018-03-18T20:16:00.002-04:002018-03-18T20:16:13.285-04:00Day 4 (almost a year later)Rosspoint Elementary, Ellie's Big Give Day<br />
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(Since its been forever...just remember, these are my journal entries from the trip...and maybe a little bit more added in...my mind was racing at the end of this day, so forgive any jumbled thoughts, I was just completely in awe of all God had put together that day!)<br />
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I woke up beyond excited for our boxes to come out! We drove over mountains to an awesome pink sky!<br />
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We were welcomed with open arms and sweet smiles. As boxes were unpacked, the brightness of the boxes was awesome from all the stickers we had decorated with, in fact I ended up with a sticker on my pants within minutes, smiled and thought of Daddy's jeans and a social worker's skirt that Ellie stickered.<br />
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This sweet team I'm on, who I just met this week, wanted Richard and I to hand out the first boxes of the day. In the first group of the day there was girl with a shirt that read "let love shine" in glittery pink...of course I went and chatted with her, I just couldn't help myself!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I adore this picture, it reminds me of that exact feeling I had watching all these kids open boxes packed in Ellie's memory and all that God had done in our family since Ellie's death.</td></tr>
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Later someone found me to let me know her mother had passed away a few months ago, so I grabbed her a special fleece blanket and brought it over to her, talked to her about praying, about heaven and about sadness. I told her to think about her mom when she snuggled that blanket and about her new friends that are praying for her.<br />
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Then there was a little girl names Ariel...who I of course called Princess Ariel! She loved listening to the story of Jesus and wanted to do the wordless track over and over with me, she had it memorized by the time she left!<br />
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Another friend came in with a Hope shirt on, and I immediately went to sit with her, and got to have her in my small group, and later on met her sister as well.<br />
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In my group was a sweet girl who ended up with a "In memory of Ellie" sticker in her box. So I shared with her who Ellie was. Her mom ended up posting to Facebook later that night, a picture of the sticker (Hold Me just came on the radio) and about her daughter getting to talk with me and her teacher commented on the post about how special that little girl felt having that sticker in there.<br />
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Richard and I had chosen to fast for the day, so during lunch time we stayed back from the cafeteria and we got to help/watch with an Easter Egg hunt in Kindergarten.<br />
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Then we went back in to stuffed all our extra toys and goodies from our Ellie's Big Give boxes into the rest of the other boxes.<br />
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Our last groups of the day were the older kids, 6th-8th graders, and that's an age group that I didn't have much to do with (I'm used to little people) I didn't think I did middle schoolers very well. There was a skit that was done for the older kids, and that day I had to fill in for someone in the skit, and usually afterwords I usually go sit in the bleachers with the kids, but with 6th grade, I choose to stand to the side against the wall after my part was done. A different pastor was with us today, Pastor Dave, He delivered a very strong testimony to the group of kids about struggling with poverty, abuse and drugs and how accepting Jesus was the best decision he had ever made, because He took those sins and mistakes and washed them away, how it's not easy to make all those changes, but they are the best changes. I watched the kids heads nod in agreement to his story, because they got it and they understood drug abuse and parents not around. He asked them to bow their heads and he began to pray for them, and then asked if any of them would like to make that decision, that it wouldn't be easy but it would be good - do they want to follow Jesus. Typically during this time, we are supposed to have our eyes closed, but I opened my eyes this time - I just wanted to see what God was doing. As I watched 30 or so hands go in the air, I just started crying, again, humbled that God let me be a part of this. Pastor Dave asked them to come talk to a team member if they had rasied their hands. As the kids were coming down to talk, I didn't move. I don't know if I was scared or being selfish, I was crying, I was excited and still a little nervous because I didn't relate to this age group well. There were still a bunch of kids in the bleachers, and I was still glued to the wall, finally God said "move Carly", and I remembered what had happened when I let go and listened to God the day before, so I walked over to that group in the bleachers, as I was walking over, this girl's eyes met mine and as they met I knew I was meant to talk to her - I could see she had been crying. I asked her if she wanted to talk, she said "no, I'm good". Another team member had been sitting with her, trying to talk to her. Again I invited her to go talk, and she put me off again, telling me she was fine....every part of me just wanted to say "ok" and walk away, but I didn't. I looked right at her and said "look at my eyes, I'm crying, your crying, lets go cry together" and she reached out her hand and down from the bleachers she came.<br />
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She was a little nervous and not sure what to say to me. So I told her I'd go first and tell her why I was crying then she could tell me her reason. Again, I used my cancer story, I told her about Ellie. I told her why I was in Kentucky. I told her about the boxes we had made. As I talked, her eyes got bigger and bigger. Once I was done she told me her uncle had just died from cancer and she felt so sad, and was struggling because everyone else in her family seemed fine now. She then shared she had another uncle just diagnosed with cancer and no one knew if he was going to live. My heart skipped a million beats and I knew at that moment - this was my divine appointment. I told her I knew before I left for this trip there was going to be one student who was the whole reason I came, and she was it. We talked and cried some more. Someone brought over a Hope Box for her and it was one of ours. She opened it, and in the lid was a label that said "May you always be brave enough to fly" Again her eyes got big and she just grinned from ear to ear, I think she was seeing how God had brought the two of us together.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Again, so thankful for those who caught these moments!</td></tr>
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After the events of the previous day in Hardee's and then meeting this young lady today, it became very apparent to me that God didn't send me to Kentucky to help get a bunch of kids saved, he sent me to use my particular story of cancer with very particular people.<br />
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The next crew rolled, 7th and 8th grade. Again that powerful testimony delivered, again I stood to the side, and this time a young lady came down right away to talk to me. Her story was sad, foster care, 3 younger sisters she raised. A sister who cried herself to sleep. Her mom wasn't a mom (her words). Had just met her dad last year, thought he was trying to get custody of her, but she was worried she'd have to leave her sisters. She had cut herself in the past and had to get help for that. All she wanted me to pray for was her mom to get it together. So much strength in a 13 year old. We got her a Bible and marked one of my favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11. She was so intrigued by the Bible and how to look up verses. She sweetly said, "I'm gonna keep this on my night stand."<br />
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As we were packing up her class was still sitting in the gym, she came back over and just kept chatting with me. I found more random things to give her like a bracelet, but I always had to make sure there was enough for all her sisters, and her foster mom...what a sweet heart this girl had. She also ended up with a box with a Princess Ellie sticker inside it.</div>
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The absolutely amazing thing - I never got hungry all day! I've faster numerous times and usually by noon I'm ready to eat my arm, yesterday by dinner my stomach had growled once. </div>
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Before we left on this mission trip, I was so scared, scared of not doing it right, scared of saying the wrong thing. I had never led anyone to Jesus before, what if I messed up the words? I've talked to my own kids about Jesus a million times, I've taught in the church, but never asked a child "do you really know Jesus?" I even made sure before we left that they would let us watch a few groups of kids before they let us loose with kids. But in the end, I learned that it wasn't about the perfect words...I was not there to preach or deliver grand messages, I was there for that young lady. Cancer was what ended up connecting us, not some vast amount of biblical knowledge. All God wanted me to do was share my story, not give a whole lot of information that might go over someone's head, just share what God had done in my life, let the walls down, let the tears flow, and tell the story. </div>
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I walked out of that school on cloud nine. I knew there was going to be "that kid" but each day before Rosspoint, I felt like I was trying to make it happen, instead of patiently waiting for God's timing. </div>
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Its fun to look back at <a href="https://lifeontheblaineark.blogspot.com/2017/04/getting-ready-to-shine.html" target="_blank">this post</a> from before we left. The exact things I asked for prayer about were answered...God is so cool!</div>
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If you'd like to see more pictures of the amazing trip we had, enjoy this video!</div>
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Prayers, Praise and Pink</div>
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~ Carly</div>
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CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-30035315580703927172018-03-10T10:08:00.002-05:002018-03-10T10:08:33.089-05:00It's been a whilewow....It's been since May....<strike>November is almost over</strike>....it's March now...isn't that just life!<br />
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Here's the quick recap! (ok, not so quick now that I reread....and with a ton of pics)<br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">June</span> - We went on a great vacation with my family and made a special announcement to the kids and then the "world"<br />
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That's right! Baby number 5! Noah gave the baby the nickname "Cinco" and its stuck! I promise this baby will not be named Cinco, but we are struggling to find the right name! (She's here now and two months old already, and she has the perfect name!)<br />
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The rest of June was filled with fundraising for Noah and Lisa's goal of $25,791 for St. Jude!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7h9PRmdLyts5oRYoc3slazGYWcecX1BmrisFYirS7tCUDn8LGczhagl1KQ596d-_J38Yn21Hbn_YZ-jJcwHZUZs3sjYX_Ou2Y2IuCh83Bc9aiJg7NrcErpZwgvkktHoY-SJDzOnUOMqE/s1600/bingo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="481" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7h9PRmdLyts5oRYoc3slazGYWcecX1BmrisFYirS7tCUDn8LGczhagl1KQ596d-_J38Yn21Hbn_YZ-jJcwHZUZs3sjYX_Ou2Y2IuCh83Bc9aiJg7NrcErpZwgvkktHoY-SJDzOnUOMqE/s320/bingo.JPG" width="320" /></a>We are always so incredibly lucky to have awesome people who help us raise money over the course of the year!<br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">July</span><span style="font-size: large;"> -</span> included a new kitchen floor, celebrating the fourth of July, more fundraising and soaking up every last ounce of summer we could, visiting family, hiding rocks, shopping and even taking a little trip to the Animal Safari Park!<br />
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My favorite fundraising event we did this summer was all done by kids (with a little grown up help!) We held an all kids craft show, where all the vendors were kids and all the money raised went to help the kids of St. Jude! Kids from all over the area made some awesome goodies like the ever popular slime, dog toys, painted rocks, book marks, stationary, tutu's, artwork, jewelry and even print photography! It was an amazing day to watch these young people at work, and the loving community that showed up to shop this event! My favorite part of the day was hearing one little boy who came to shop ask his grandma if he could come sell stuff next year! Those amazing children raised $2,003!!! I couldn't have been more proud and can't wait to try it again next year! Huge thanks to my mom and Fredericksburg United Methodist Church for hosting us!<br />
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Somewhere along the way over the summer, we decided to step up our Hope for Appalachia game (I realize I never posted day 4 of our mission trip, which was by far the best day!) and some crazy friends convinced me nothing is too big for our God and we decided to to take on an entire elementary school this upcoming year for Ellie's Big Give. A friend purchased 400 plastic boxes for us, which is the perfect amount to cover the school that our boxes went to last year! (All 400 boxes are now packed!!)<br />
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<span style="color: lime; font-size: large;">August</span>....we started back to school...summer always goes to fast! This year we have a 4th grader and a preschooler! That's right, SG has started preschool and is doing fantastic, gotta admit I was a little scared, knowing her...how do you say...strong personality and passionate emotional outbursts (she's stubborn and flips out on occasion)!<br />
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August was also the big culmination of Noah and Lisa's St. Jude fundraising effort for 2017. They blew their original goal of $23,791 out of the water, and agreed to eat bugs, if they hit $30,00 they were adding to their plates - a tomato for Noah and liver for Lisa. They topped out over $40,000, so their plates were prepared! Again, we couldn't be more grateful to everyone who helped make this possible, we couldn't do it with out all of you!<br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">September</span> was Color Rush, which is always a blast and we found out Baby Cinco is a girl (Noah handled this well)!<br />
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And we very unexpectedly said goodbye to our dog of 10 years, Kapone. If you've every heard us talk about our dog before, you know he is just the most wonderful dog besides his constant shedding! He has tolerated all of our children and many others with nothing more than a lick and a smile! Losing him was incredibly hard and brought back a whole lot of tough memories of Ellie....that may sound odd, believe me, I wasn't prepared for all the tears this one created!<br />
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October brought Lulah's third birthday and lots of collecting for Hope for Appalachia and Ellie's Big Give!<br />
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And now it's<span style="color: #783f04; font-size: large;"> November</span>....well its almost over. We've collected more supplies for Hope Boxes, had a baby shower, still no baby name, and we are preparing to relocate Noah's room so baby Cinco will have a room of her own. Thanksgiving came and I happily got to host family for the first time, made my own big girl turkey, with minimal drama (who knew there was so much juice inside that bird when you open the bag...needless to say I was cleaning the floor before 7am!)<br />
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Thanksgiving is like the gateway into the holiday season, and this year I'm bringing along a ton of hormones, which so far have been in check considering what they could be this time of year. But I'm starting to notice the little things that are taking me back to 4 years ago, or the random tears that come from nowhere. I've been reading some of the blog postings that are titled "what a grieving person wishes you knew at Christmas" or something like that. I think I read them, looking for confirmation of how I feel or just curious as to what other people think or feel. While I read, I can nod my head in agreement, but there's always just something missing from those articles for me. Most of them talk about how there will always be a missing piece of themselves, they will always miss their children, how they don't always want to do holiday events and they aren't as exciting anymore as they used to be. They talk about moving on with life, but also still living in the past when their loved ones were still alive. They talk about hating silence and when people say unintentional hurtful things, and what are the right things to say. But rarely does anyone talk about Jesus.<br />
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There are empty spaces in my heart and yes there are days that I ditch activities because I just don't feel like it. I'm numb to many things and I stink at committing to things and making plans. I cry because I miss her but feel like I don't remember her all at the same time. I have pain that I don't expect for others to understand, but I also have a hope. There is a reason I can have a hole in my heart, but it can still go on beating, I can still breath, and I can still do more that just exist, I still experience so much of what those articles talk about, but I add on "but Jesus".<br />
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Days like Thanksgiving, hold tough memories of Ellie getting upset because her head felt spinny and she was scared. The weeks that follow Thanksgiving are filled with memories of Ellie living on the couch, not wanting to do anything, occasionally convincing her to get down and play, only to have her crawl back up on the couch. Memories of gifts pouring in, more gifts then they ever opened, and none of those gifts could make cancer go away, they were just a constant reminder that nothing of this world is of great value, and probably why to this day I struggle with gift giving. As Christmas gets closer the memories of begging God for just one more day, just make it till Christmas, then till Christmas eve...these weeks are just laced with raw emotion that I can never be sure of how it will come out...but I have Jesus. I have peace that may not make sense to someone who has never experienced it.<br />
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Isaiah 41:10 also tells me "do not fear for I am with you". It's not like I notice Him right there, its just a feeling, when my world feels like it could come crumbling down, or when I turn on Christmas music and start crying, God says, "its okay Carly to not be ready for that yet". It's God who has put the desire into our hearts to do more with Ellie's Big Give, to fill this month of potential pain with a focus on filling 400 boxes and giving them to kids in His name. It's the promise of heaven that has allowed my children to understand that death is sad because we miss the person who is gone, but Jesus has promised us an eternity in heaven for those who love Him and proclaim Him as Lord of their lives. Simply put, grief is hard, confusing, and makes you feel pretty awkward sometimes...but Jesus holds my hand the whole way and says "fear not, I'm right here, I love you and you will get through this, with my help" (that verse isn't in the bible...that's just me).<br />
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****3/10/18***I often think I don't have much to say anymore since Ellie's gone, nobody probably reads this anymore, I'm not sure I have anything profound to say....I'm just a mom of 5 trying to keep afloat each day. But God has really laid it on my heart this past week that I need to get back at it, this is like my mini-ministry and I have so much to be thankful for that I owe it to him to continue to share feelings, blessings, heartaches and most of all the promises he has available to us all. So I will catch up on our life, I will "introduce you to Baby Cinco"and yes, I will still talk about my girl!***<br />
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Prayers, Praise and Pink</div>
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~Carly</div>
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<br />CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-9270128070360321332017-05-28T15:20:00.003-04:002017-05-28T15:20:38.329-04:00Day 3Before 7am, God taught me a lesson. <br />
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We took off this morning at 6am, like normal, but this morning someone wanted a biscuit from Hardee's so we stopped. I ran in to use the bathroom and then hopped in line to get another cup of coffee...no such thing as too much coffee on this trip!<br />
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While we were waiting in line, I mistook a girl in line behind us for someone we met yesterday at the school. She was with her mom and her brother, and as we continued talking to them and about our trip, the son told us how he had changed his life around. How he had been saved in January, and it was a good thing because six months later, he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He and his mom talked about surgeries and treatment and how his cancer had come back, and more treatments and now he was doing great....<br />
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I couldn't breathe...<br />
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I fell apart for a second, I couldn't look at him and some jealous thoughts ran through my brain. I turned towards Richard and just started crying, thankfully Pastor Mike and Liesa were standing right there to carry on that conversation. I pulled it back together, and was gonna just walk away with my coffee, but God said "no" and turned me around to share about Ellie with this complete stranger. I told her how happy I was for them and how awesome it was that God knew exactly what her son needed to fight that battle with cancer. The mom and I continued on to have a sweet conversation about how we wouldn't change a thing about our journeys and how grateful we were that God had our children's future in his hands. We left, and they were on their way to the doctor for more check ups. I was grateful to God for opening up my heart to hear what I needed to hear. The grief journey is one that you can easily cover up with a happy face, put the wall up and just keep trucking on. Pretending and sometimes really believing that all is okay. Living with that wall up and happy face, sometimes makes me numb though to life's experiences. Things that others would probably love to revel in for hours, I tend to try to rush through because the emotion is just too much....and I don't always realize I do it. God totally knocked my walls down this morning, to wake me up and realize there was so much emotion going on in what I was doing in Kentucky and I needed to slow down and experience it.<br />
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Our school that day was quick, we were having to move quick, talk quick, hand out boxes quick...and I was grateful for a moment that I got to steal away and go visit some of the special needs classrooms. Such a change of scenery from the loud gym with music blasting! Smaller classrooms with sweet kids working hard...and a little music playing! I may have whipped and nay nayed and sang some Elsa 😉<br />
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During our group of 5th graders, I went and sat with some of the "wigglier" boys...thinking that's where I was meant to sit, God was putting me there for those boys! As I sat there, the girls in front of me were talking, and I heard one say she was scared. I scooted down to talk to her and to figure out what she was afraid of. She told me she wanted to ask for prayer, but she was scared to raise her hand. So I told her she could tell me and I'd make sure I wrote it down for her so the group could pray for her. She told me her mom and dad were both in prison and she was living with her older sister. She didn't know when they were getting out or how long they were staying with her sister.<br />
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As Pastor Mike went to pray, I placed my hand on her shoulder, and prayed for her. I wanted her to feel that love I feel all the time from my church family. When Pastor Mike asked if any of the kids would like to accept Jesus into their hearts, I felt her arm move, I peeked, and there was her hand lifted high. I couldn't help but cry and be completely humbled that he choose me for that moment. That God has helped me come completely out of my comfort zone and share Him! When they were done praying, she turned to look at me and the relief and peace on that girl's face was amazing!<br />
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Back at Calvary Campus, after dinner each night, we have a time of sharing. We had two teams with us, so we don't always know what happens with the other team. After having my walls knocked down by God early in the morning, my heart was raw with emotion, and ready to open up a little bit more to this group of people I'd been with all week. So for the first time, I shared out loud to the whole group about Ellie, some knew, but many didn't. I told them about the brain cancer boy at Hardee's and how God just completely broke me that morning to be open hearted. To be so in tune with him for the day, and that's how I heard him tell me to place my head on that girl's shoulder to pray with her.<br />
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After devotion time, a new team member that had just joined us that day came up to me with his daughter (who gave the most incredible hugs). He and his work had sent care packages to us when Ellie was first diagnosed. Our family picture is still on their refrigerator. Had I not shared that night, he wouldn't have figured out who we were, and that sweet moment would have been missed, talk about incredibly broken roads! His daughter was so sweet and I think had radar for my tears...for the next day, she found me every time I was crying and had an amazing hug for me!<br />
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Today I learned about obedience....today I was obedient and was able to see the reward of my obedience....but I also had a tad bit of a gut check when thinking about all those times I was not obedient, those times I heard God tell me to do something and I ignored him because I didn't want to feel weird or go out of my way. How many moments and blessings I have missed because I wasn't obedient? I'm grateful for today's lesson....had I not learned this today....I may have missed out on meeting the one girl I came to Kentucky for, the next day.<br />
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Prayers, Praise and Pink</div>
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~Carly</div>
CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-20959439334082316802017-05-16T19:43:00.001-04:002017-05-16T19:43:56.825-04:00Our GraduateI looked back at <a href="https://lifeontheblaineark.blogspot.com/2016/05/mothers-day-dirt.html" target="_blank">last year's post</a> around this time. I was feeling some stuff that I was almost certain I'd felt last year, and sure enough, there it was. The tough feelings associated with my birthday and mother's day. I wasn't overwhelmed with tears or despair....just kind of that numb feeling that I associate with holidays or important events. I love watching my kids and family enjoy them, but there's just a part of me that can't all the way be there.<br />
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This past weekend added another pretty exciting and emotional event for our family. Richard graduated from Liberty University on Saturday! In April, after Ellie passed away, Richard felt like God was calling him to do something more, he wasn't sure what, but he knew there was more. So he enrolled at Liberty and decided to take all online classes. With the help of our Preacher, Richard choose a major that he felt could lead to many different paths. For the past 2.5 years Richard has worked so hard, staying up late, doing his Old Navy job, his Daddy job and then his school work. He graduated with honors and I couldn't be more proud! He would never toot his horn and a lot of people didn't even know he was graduating! <br />
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He decided he wanted to walk at graduation, so we set off on our graduation adventure on Saturday.<br />
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We only took Noah, since the predicted attendance was over 50,000 people due to President Trump being the Keynote Speaker. After over an hour of graduates walking into the stadium...I finally spotted my guy! Can you find him?? (Hint he's waving and has no hat on!)<br />
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This was the first time that many emotions (besides anxiety) started welling up inside. I wanted to cry, but I'm so good at pushing those feelings aside! We listened to Trump and thought it was pretty cool to hear our President talking about the need of following God and not being afraid to be different! I hope Noah was listening!<br />
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We left the massive stadium and headed to his smaller ceremony with just his college. This was where we would see him walk across the stage and hear his name. I felt tears about 2 seconds away the entire time I waited for his turn. I was just so overwhelmed with pride and amazement. I couldn't help but feel like Richard going to school, had something to do with Ellie's passing, and to see this schooling completed just did something to me.<br />
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I finally cracked, as he stood there waiting for his name to be called, I lost it. I tried to holler for him when they called his name, but I was crying (thank goodness for family that can yell loud!) <br />
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I was so glad we went! It was so touching to see the men and women that went to school online, who worked so hard through jobs and kids and grandkids. I got to watch husbands and wives graduate together, a little girl get carried by her daddy across the stage, and hear kids yelling "go mommy" from the crowd, what a touching day! I realize how easy I had it going to school "way back then" and how extra hard these folks have worked!<br />
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We have no idea what the next step is in our lives, or what this degree will be used for, but this part is done, and Richard was obedient, I have full confidence that God has the next steps all planned out! Now we wait....some more....I'm getting so much better at waiting!<br />
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I promise I haven't forgotten about the rest of our mission trip. Day 3 and 4 are pretty special, and we get to share at our church this upcoming Sunday night about our trip....so I'm saving those stories for that night, and then I will share them on here. You could always come and listen in person if you'd like! Zion Baptist Church, Orange VA, 6:30pm.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #23221f; font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, "Century gothic", sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">"Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day." Psalm 25:5</span><br />
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<span style="color: #23221f; font-family: Open Sans, Arial, Century gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Prayers, Praise and Pink</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #23221f; font-family: Open Sans, Arial, Century gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Carly</span></span></div>
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<br />CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6876360566634000257.post-59197466524980135342017-04-29T15:55:00.001-04:002017-04-29T15:55:04.978-04:00Day 24/12/17<br />
Today was filled with ups and downs and I think for a minute I felt defeated, maybe even felt a little like Jesus must have felt when people mocked him or didn't believe in him (not that anyone made fun of us or put a crown of thorns on our heads). Yesterday was amazing and today didn't necessarily compare. Today's school seemed sad, something was just "off" without a better way to explain it. Thankfully we have a team of really awesome people, who recognize the "elephant in the room" as one pastor stated today and immediately there were prayers said to kick the devil out of that building and teams setting out to walk and pray around the building. On my walk around the building, I just didn't see much joy or many smiles. We got a chance to speak with the resource officer in that school (which is not a police officer...for my VA people!) She shared so many of the struggles in that school and in her own personal life. We spent time listening and praying with her, and found out they were collecting prom dresses for their students, because if the girls don't have dresses, they won't come.<br />
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Guess what we had hundreds of....prom dresses...but they were back at Calvary Campus...back across 2 mountains. So the next day, we drove back over those mountains and brought they boxes of dresses! (sorry I totally just jumped ahead to day 3...but it fit here!)<br />
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(Back to day 2) Don't get me wrong, there were sweet moments in that building today. <br />
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And I'm pretty sure I forgot to thank God for them, because like life, I got caught up in the details....like "these kids aren't excited by us" or "the teachers aren't coming in" instead of the big picture of what was going on. We were still in a public school, teaching about Jesus...we didn't have to be across the street, we were in their building. We were planters today. We planted seeds. We spoke Jesus' name, and though many may not have responded to us, they knew who He was. I'd really like to peek in that school right now and see if there's any type of atmosphere change, and even more interested to head back next year and see the difference.<br />
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Looking back on this day, God was teaching me a lesson, and once you hear about day 3 and 4 its amazing to see how God planned this all out, not me. He was reminding me it's on His timing and sometimes, we just have to wait for what He has in store. When I left for Kentucky, I knew God was gonna have "a moment" just for me, when I was gonna know this is exactly why I came, my divine appointment... but I was getting impatient. Day 1 was a blast, Day 2 ended with sweetness....but I still hadn't had my moment...didn't God want me to know why He sent me here?!?!<br />
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I say the day ended sweetly because once we got back to Calvary Campus today, and we were just hanging out in our bunk, one of the sweet ladies I had served with for the past two days asked me about the blanket I had on my bunk.<br />
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When picking a blanket to bring with me, I couldn't think of sweeter one then my Ellie shirt blanket, the one my mom and I worked on together. After Ellie passed away, I didn't know what to do with all her favorite shirts. Mom helped me pick out shirts and pillow cases, let me cut shirts myself and organize them. Then she worked so hard to sew them all together for me.<br />
That one question about my blanket that afternoon, led to an hour conversation about what brought us to Kentucky and all God had done in our lives. I selfishly love talking about Ellie, and I could probably talk for hours about her and the amazing things that have happened in our lives since cancer, but I'm starting to enjoy more and more bragging on what God has worked out for us. By the end of our chat, we were all in tears, goofy grinning and everyone had Buggin' for a Cure bracelets. This was the first time I cried since I had been in Kentucky....little did I know, God was about to open the flood gates in a big way the next morning, in Hardee's.<br />
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***So this wasn't straight journal, I really didn't write a lot about that day, I was tired and a little bummed. Now that I've had time to look back and reflect upon what was going on that day, I get it. I get that it's not always going to be perfect (in my eyes), but its always gonna be God led, even if we were at that school for just one kid, it was worth it!***CarlyBlainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12486156529918278502noreply@blogger.com0