SG thought it might be fun to play hide and seek with me tonight...she just didn't tell me about it. I panicked going from room to room looking for her saying her name and hearing nothing. It was an eerie silence. Our house isn't that big and she can't open doors, but I think anyone who has experienced the death of a child has a little PTSD (my official diagnosis) so moments like this send my heart and mind racing. I finally located her behind the bathroom door trying to put toothpaste on her tooth brush. Once I could breathe again I tried to reason with her almost 2 year old self about why it's not okay to hide from Mommy, I'm sure she totally understood all I was saying!  So after our chat I realized a few things 

1. She's too smart for her own good.

2. I must have looked silly having this intense chat with a 2 year old 

3.  I take her granted...and I should know better

So I decided to let her help me with dinner, something I'm pretty sure I have not let her do before. As she pushed her chair over to the counter I smiled, she all of sudden looked way older. I realized once again time is moving so fast. SG is very talented at pushing all my buttons which sometimes makes it hard to enjoy the little moments with her. She was putting pepperonis on and I was reminded of a very similar day with Ellie. 

These sweet memories flooded me, but instead of tears, I felt happy and proud. So SG and I snapped a pic!

While we were taking our 20 pictures with all our silly faces....this happened...

And once I realized I captured this image...completely unplanned... I couldn't have been more happy because I knew there was a very similar picture of Ellie and I. 

 In moments like these Ellie shines through. SG is a very different kid then Ellie....than all my kids. But as she nears the age of two I see more and more of her sister in her, the dance moves, some of the smiles, the facial expressions, I like it...it's like having little bits of Ellie in the house.  Nearing two, also has my senses totally heightened to everything she does. It was right after Ellie's 2nd birthday that she started getting sick. I keep watching SG smile, to make sure both sides are moving, or that her eyes aren't dilating funny. Then you have to remind yourself cancer doesn't happen to everyone. And that if for some crazy reason it did happen again, I know that God would see me through, just like he did before and will continue to do.

Moral of the story...happieness is always hiding out in the house, sometimes you just have to go seek it. (And your two year old in my case!)

Just wanted to share my happy little story. 

"In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him." Ecclesiastes 7:14

Prayers, Praise and Pink

Carly

Giving Hope

Once again Ellie's birthday has come, and without her here I knew I wanted to celebrate her by giving Hope to someone.  This year I choose our friends at Habitat for Hope.  They did so much for us while we were in Memphis, however the love for this group goes beyond just our time there.  I can't really explain why I feel the relationship I do with them, we are just connected.  When I asked my friends what they needed most, they explained that gift cards are so helpful to give out to families.  When I announced what we were doing, gift cards started coming in slowly.  I worried for a bit, stressed some more, and by the time of Ellie's party we had over $1500 in gift cards.  With the last few that have shown up, the total is well over $2,000 in gift cards and tons of tissues, chapstick, crayons, gum, hand lotions and more!  Since Ellie's favorite movie is Rapunzel, we decided to have a Rapunzel themed party, I'm pretty sure she would have loved it, especially all the Rapunzel hair around!

 A huge thanks to my friend Bobbi for this beautiful cake!

 We also made craft kits to send to St. Jude for the kids!

 We had helpers of all ages!

 Getting our crafty on!

The all important blowing of the balloons!

Rapunzel likes pizza...right?!?

Lighting the sky for Princess Ellie, around her Christmas tree.

 

There they go

 Enjoying the rice krispy tower!

What it's all about, giving Hope

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5

Prayers, Praise and Pink,

Carly