Lulah

Monday, January 5, 2015

My sweet girl.

When we found out we were pregnant, I panicked. How in the world did God think we could handle this right now? People were going to think we were trying to replace Ellie. SG wasn't even a year old yet. How was I going to be off of work even more now? My brain was racing.of course a lot of it was worrying about things that were not necessary.

Now that she's here, and I have to leave her to go back to work today, I'm so thankful for the little miracle she is. When I look at her, I don't see Ellie (even though we are pretty sure there is a dimple or two) I see God. I see the miracle of life, I see joy after pain, I see love. I see peace. I see God's perfect plan in human form.

The first day of my pregnancy was technically Ellie's birthday....which was always fun going to the Dr. and giving them that date, always brought a smile. Lulah was born the same week we brought Ellie home from St Jude last year. God's perfect timing shines though again. A time of the year that is tough, filled with memories and sadness, and we get the gift of new life. A time that can be filled with heartache, is dulled some by baby smiles (and oh this beautiful girl has some good ones) tiny diapers and snuggles.

So today as I'm struggling a little bit, I will thank God for His plan, that once again is way better than anything I can ever come up with. Praise Him for all 4 of my beautiful children, who are all so special in their own ways. Smile that God seems to use babies in my life to help through difficult times. And be ever so grateful that God uses us to let His light shine...or sparkle!