Hello Trail Mix!
In an effort to not open this jar...I'm blogging :) I promised I would not touch this till we leave on Tuesday...but it's staring at me. My last jar only lasted me 3 days, so I'm really hoping this one can hang in till our road trip, and then I can eat it...for breakfast!
Noah and I are anxiously counting down the days and trying to finish up last minute tasks before we leave for Memphis. One surprise addition to our "to-do" list was an interview with a local news station. Richard assured me it would be "just like talking to the newspaper people"....yeah just like that, except there's a camera, and they are in my house! I was excited, yet a wreck. As we rushed around trying to make my house look like clean people live here, I felt the anxiety creeping up further. I used to have a really rough time with anxiety, I've gotten a lot better, but some days no matter how hard I try or what I do, I can't keep it away. I came in the kitchen to turn the radio on, music can calm me like no other. The radio station was discussing prayer and with the national day of prayer right around the corner, they had some people calling in with prayer requests. I didn't hear the lady's whole story, but the radio D.J. began to pray for her, so I stopped cleaning and prayed with them for a moment. The D.J.'s prayer went straight to my heart, it was almost the same prayer I pray every night. That God would heal what no doctor or medicine can heal. That through His healing other's would see what God is capable of. He said some other beautiful words, that I can't remember, but in that moment I felt Holy Spirit right there with me, holding me tight, telling me "This one's for you". Then this song played
Always the right song...I was calm, I could breathe, I could continue to pretend like my house was clean :)
I think the interview went well, Noah tried to be a camera hog, Ellie and Richard were on the iPad. Ellie of course wouldn't talk to the reporter, or me if she could see the camera man or the reporter. It makes me sad some days that my sweet, happy-go-lucky girl has shut down to strangers. Reporter Whitney, even tried to talk princesses with Ellie, and all she got was a smile. No one could ever know the workings of a two year old brain, so I'm not sure why this new silence is occurring, but I sure hope one day my chatter box returns (never thought I'd say that!)
As Richard and I start to iron out some details of our next 3 weeks together, I am excited. Not just to see them again (which I can't even describe my excitement of that one), I'm excited about the doors that God is starting to open for us once again. I'm excited and encouraged by all the lives Ellie is continuing to touch. I'm excited that my family is continuing to be used to show just how much God can do, and just how far God's love can carry you. I'm excited at our growth as a couple and as a family. We can't plan out the whole summer yet...which we all know I would LOVE to do, but we are making some progress.
Once Noah, SG, myself and Nana (my mom) get down there, we can't all stay at the Target House. There is a strict 4 person to an apartment policy, and even though Ellie has tried to get in good with the director, we still have to follow the rules, and if you know me, I have to follow the rules! So we will be split up again, but just at night. Thankfully Nana has gotten a hotel room and will gladly take a kiddo with her....hope she's ready for that 4am feeding, because I am SOOOO ready for a full night's sleep (and she thought she would take Noah....surprise!) Our next big day is May 8th, that is when Ellie will have her MRI and spinal tap. Those will show what is going on with her tumor. We ask that you continue to pray, we would love to see a tumor that has disappeared, and we know that if it's God's will, He can make it happen, and if it's not His will, He has a better plan than we do.
I have to once again say thank you to everyone. Some days I feel like I just can't say it enough. The amount of support from complete strangers is "awesome" (as Ellie would say). Not just the financial support, but the cards of encouragement, the gifts for our children, the meals provided, the pictures sent and the prayers prayed. I cannot wait to one day tell Ellie what she's done, how many people she has touched and what the strength that God has given her has taught other people. I am proud to call my daughter my hero.
Prayers, Praise and Pink