If...

If Ellie never got cancer...

 

I wouldn't know my own strength

We would have never seen Memphis

My family wouldn't be as close

I wouldn't know what Methotrexate, Cisplatin, Topotecan, and Cyclophosphamide are

I would never know that platelets are yellow...or even what platelets are

I wouldn't own so many St. Jude shirts

There would be less tears

I wouldn't know Jesus like I do

I would be giving Ellie pig tails

I wouldn't know that Pineoblastoma existed

Richard wouldn't have had to leave right after SG was born

My mom wouldn't have had to live in our house forever

We wouldn't have know the wonderful people of the UVA PICU

SG wouldn't be named SG

Princess Strong wouldn't exist

Noah wouldn't have a heart for kids with cancer or even know what cancer is

She may never have been on an airplane

I probably wouldn't be blogging so much

I wouldn't take so many pictures

I would get more sleep

We would have been to the beach this summer

Ellie wouldn't have so many stickers

I would have finished out the school year

Habitat for Hope wouldn't be so close to my heart

Noah wouldn't have friends in TN

We wouldn't think about the future so much

I wouldn't pray so much

We'd be stressing about money

Noah would have finished pre-school

We wouldn't know the love of a community

SG may not be such a good car seat baby

We may have never experienced the power of prayer

Ellie wouldn't know what a "buddy" or a port is

I would have never given my child a shot

I probably would have never known just how amazing my husband is

I'd still be terrified about what others think

I would never have been able to share my love of God with others

We would never have touched so many lives

-Carly

She wouldn't have to leave and I wouldn't have to say "I miss Ellie, I miss Ellie"

She probably wouldn't throw up a lot

She probably wouldn't fight with me

She wouldn't sleep so much

She wouldn't lose all her hair

She wouldn't have to take medicine

She wouldn't have to go to the hospital all the time

-Noah

 

This was inspired by a conversation with Noah today...as he was crying, he said "If this never happened, I wouldn't be crying", when I asked him what he was talking about, he said," if Ellie never got cancer." I started to think of all the changes in our lives...the good and the bad.  When you really look at it though...there's not all that much bad, just things that are part of a plan bigger than I will ever understand this side of heaven. You can't live life worried about the "ifs", you can't go back and change it, regretting it won't do any good, and wishing it was different is pointless.  All you can do is look ahead (but not too far), praise God for today and pray and make changes for tomorrow.

 

 

 

Prayers, Praise, and Pink

~Carly and Noah