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If...

Sunday, August 11, 2013

If Ellie never got cancer...
 
I wouldn't know my own strength
We would have never seen Memphis
My family wouldn't be as close
I wouldn't know what Methotrexate, Cisplatin, Topotecan, and Cyclophosphamide are
I would never know that platelets are yellow...or even what platelets are
I wouldn't own so many St. Jude shirts
There would be less tears
I wouldn't know Jesus like I do
I would be giving Ellie pig tails
I wouldn't know that Pineoblastoma existed
Richard wouldn't have had to leave right after SG was born
My mom wouldn't have had to live in our house forever
We wouldn't have know the wonderful people of the UVA PICU
SG wouldn't be named SG
Princess Strong wouldn't exist
Noah wouldn't have a heart for kids with cancer or even know what cancer is
She may never have been on an airplane
I probably wouldn't be blogging so much
I wouldn't take so many pictures
I would get more sleep
We would have been to the beach this summer
Ellie wouldn't have so many stickers
I would have finished out the school year
Habitat for Hope wouldn't be so close to my heart
Noah wouldn't have friends in TN
We wouldn't think about the future so much
I wouldn't pray so much
We'd be stressing about money
Noah would have finished pre-school
We wouldn't know the love of a community
SG may not be such a good car seat baby
We may have never experienced the power of prayer
Ellie wouldn't know what a "buddy" or a port is
I would have never given my child a shot
I probably would have never known just how amazing my husband is
I'd still be terrified about what others think
I would never have been able to share my love of God with others
We would never have touched so many lives
-Carly


She wouldn't have to leave and I wouldn't have to say "I miss Ellie, I miss Ellie"
She probably wouldn't throw up a lot
She probably wouldn't fight with me
She wouldn't sleep so much
She wouldn't lose all her hair
She wouldn't have to take medicine
She wouldn't have to go to the hospital all the time
-Noah
 
This was inspired by a conversation with Noah today...as he was crying, he said "If this never happened, I wouldn't be crying", when I asked him what he was talking about, he said," if Ellie never got cancer." I started to think of all the changes in our lives...the good and the bad.  When you really look at it though...there's not all that much bad, just things that are part of a plan bigger than I will ever understand this side of heaven. You can't live life worried about the "ifs", you can't go back and change it, regretting it won't do any good, and wishing it was different is pointless.  All you can do is look ahead (but not too far), praise God for today and pray and make changes for tomorrow.
 
 
 
Prayers, Praise, and Pink
~Carly and Noah

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What powerful words. Praying for you and your family.

CBahl said...

<3 Amazing strength!

A Wedding Story said...

Romans 8:28 my friend! He is working it out, according to His purpose!

 
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