The Ocean

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I've had many people say they don't know how we do it. They are amazed at our strength and faith. I don't want to paint the picture it's always easy, and that I don't struggle. I wrote this the other when trying to explain my faith and relationship with The Lord these days.

"Faith like an ocean...It's big, I'm not sure of the percentage, but I like to think it covers 100% of my being. Like the ocean, my faith is always there, you can't drain it dry. Some days I feel miles and miles from it...like it's the winter time and I long to bask in it's rays. But the only way to get there is to get in the car and drive there. That's when I pray and read and pray some more....and cry. And sometimes the sun comes out slowly over the ocean and sometimes it's just cloudy. Sometimes my ocean is very stormy, I'm close to it, but I just can't stand the ups and downs of the waves, I feel like it's beating me up with all the conflicting thoughts that come crashing on me. Other days my ocean is calm and beautiful, and I can sit beside it and bask in the sunshine and feel complete peace. No matter what the state of my ocean, I love it, it's my favorite place to be. I wish it was easier to get to some days, but no matter what, it's always there, I just have to get to it. The best part of my ocean these days, is it always has a pink sunset over it."

It's not easy, I will never proclaim that because I am a believer, losing a child is a piece of cake. But I will proclaim that because I am a believer I have hope that I will see my daughter again in the place preparred for us. Because I am a believer God deals with my ocean, he doesn't get mad on those days where I am miles away. He helps me find the right roads to get to it. He doesn't let the storms last long and then he ends the day with a beautiful pink sky to help me smile. He takes care of us, He loves us, unconditionally.

He gives me joy.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

Prayers, Praise, and Pink

Carly