The Blaines

The Blaines
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Buggin' For a Cure

Buggin' For a Cure
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Thursday, July 3, 2014


I miss you. Each day with your sister, I see how much you all are alike, which makes me miss you, I also see how different you too are, which makes me miss you even more. 

 She has your spunk. She hits and then smiles. She throws temper tantrums and falls out on the floor. She loves to dance, and every once in a while she moves her arms just like you did. She jabbers endlessly and I have no clue what she's says. She picks on Noah and just like with you, he sits there and takes it. The word "no" means nothing to her and I think she enjoys time out. She comes in the bathroom and watches me get ready, I jokingly ask her if she wants me to do her hair, like I did with your, but she just blabbers something back. She puts her food in her toes....which I'm pretty sure you did too! These moments of you that come shinning through make me miss you so much. I realize that this is the way now that I will "see you and hear you" but it's also not you. 
She doesn't like least not the puffy ones you would have loved. She doesn't like hair bows, or hats, or even pony tails, she pulls them all off, which drives me crazy because she has more hair then you and it's always in her eyes. She drinks from a garden hose and doesn't mind getting dirty. When I realize the differences in you two, I miss you even more because my dress up pretty princess isn't here. I took SG out of her bath the other night, and unlike you, she doesn't like to snuggle in her towel afterwards, but on this night she did. And as she laid there on that pink kitty cat towel, for a few moments I felt you. I don't know if you were really there, but it felt like I was holding you. I squeezed her close (couldn't believe she let me) and just felt you, it made my heart hurt so bad, but also left me longing for another moment like that, because I know that's the closest I'm going to get to you on this side of heaven.
I'd never force her to be you, no one could be you, you, my sweet girl were definitely one of a kind. Her fancy dresses stay in the he closet and her hair stays in her face, and I love her for being who SG is meant to be. I do wonder sometimes when she gets a little older will she talk like you. Will she have trouble with her "L's"? Will she constantly say "him and her" instead of "he and she". I could see that causing the same "missing you pain" all over again. 

I get sad when I think she will only have a picture memory of you, she won't have her own I would assume.  She will only know the stories we tell her.  I am happy that the Lord is blessing us with another girl, so she will have that sister relationship, I just hate that you won't be here to boss the girls around and tell them exactly how to place their princesses.  

Prayers, Praise, and Pink

1 comment:

Taylor Willett said...

I'm a mommy of a 3 year old princess, thank you Ellie for teaching me to savor every moment<3

If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind;
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way,
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful, So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven, And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand, And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.