A few weeks ago our furriest child (the dog) took off when I let him out to go to the bathroom. This isn't the first time he has disappeared, despite our best efforts. But this time it was snowing and it was so cold. I waited, surely he'd get cold and come home...I waited some more, still no dog. I finally headed to bed, worried, but not much else I could do. When the phone rang at 5am to say school was cancelled, I went to check to see if he was home. I opened the door and there he was. However unlike other late night outings he's had, this time he was hurt...and probably half frozen. As I brought him in...tears started to flow...I got Richard up and we just stared at him.  We had no idea what was broken or hurt, but all I could say was "I can't do this again"... I know he's a dog and Ellie was a human, but that's right where my brain went. His breathing reminded me of hers, his pain....it was all too much. As Richard preparred to head out in the snow to the ER vet, I couldn't stop crying. He's technically our oldest child, and I started thinking of all those times I've fussed at him, what if he doesn't make it? After a long day of waiting all he had was a broken jaw and a cut on his head that needed to be stiched up...how that was all that was wrong I had no idea, but I thanked God for it, this family couldn't handle that loss right now. Over the next few days we had to fight him to take meds and eat....sound familiar? Again it toke me right back to Ellie, to the point I had to leave the room when Richard was trying to get him to take his meds.  When I finally got him to eat, I felt like singing and dancing..."go Kapone, go Kapone"...that's what we used to do for Ellie when she'd eat.  

Is this what happens now? Every time something happens in our family, I go back to Ellie. When a kid gets sick, will I always cry thinking back to my sweet girl? Not a clue, I've never done this before!  As I go for more days inbetween meltdowns, I find it so easy to be pulled right back into that moment. Last night, SG let out a blood curdling scream in the middle of the night, I think I stopped breathing as I went running to her room. As I picked her up, I couldn't help but fall apart. Memories and emotions are so raw in our house. And the roller coaster still goes up and down, Richard and I seem to take turns with bad and good days. And as the days go by and I count down to my return to work, it can't help but worry about these moments occurring while I'm there. 

Peace just isn't found as often as it used to be. I don't think I realized it was missing until I finally opened my devotional again and read...

"Breathe in the peace of my presence: peace that transcends all understanding. Take time, take time with me...you need to sit quietly, focusing your thoughts on me...the world is full of trouble, but I have overcome the world...assert your confidence in me, saying "I trust you Jesus, you are my hope...I am training you to be an overcomes."

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I remember that feeling of peace in my heart, I miss it. Lately it's just a feeling of existence, not a horrible feeling, but definitely not as great as peace. When you have a sick child, that's your life, in fact your life just kind of stops...other things go on but almost all your focus is on illness and getting better. You become known as "so and so's parent", that is your identity. Ellie's illness gave me a whole new focus in life, it gave me a new identity. It taught me lots of things and brought me so close to The Lord, and now her illness is over. My focus isn't on hospitals and meds and living in another state. I'm still Ellie's mom, but that role carries a whole new identity now. Kinda feel like I'm back in high school trying to figure out where I fit in. I have two beautiful children and an amazing husband to care for, but I miss having the "purpose" of Ellie's illness in my life...does that make sense? It was such an important purpose, that made you forget about all the petty things in life, the silly agruements and drama and just focus on your child.  I hated her having cancer, I hated seeing her not enjoying life like a two year old should, but I had a purpose and a focus, get Ellie better, help her feel better, make sure she took the right meds, make sure her counts are okay, make sure monkey is clean, make sure her headband isn't lost (oh how many times we misplaced her princess headband!). Once I got into the groove of my new role in life, I got very used to it...and now that role has switched again. I know, with time, my new role will become aparent to me, and I will once again find where I belong (isn't that a Disney song?) It's just a weird place to be in right now, and I know I can't always explain it to those who are around me in the right way.  

I have focused on crocheting, a lot...not as important as taking care of a child with cancer, but it keeps my mind busy and it's all in honor of my girl. She is the whole reason I began crocheting 3 years ago. I have two craft shows coming up, first ones in a while, I'm excited to do them, excited to do something I used to do on a regular basis. I am also excited because it allows me to share Ellie more! She was always my model, so I have lots of pictures of her to display. I also use my craft shows to help raise money for our upcoming walks, we have two so far we are signed up for. If you'd like to know more about our walks you can visit team Princess Strong on facebook....https://www.facebook.com/groups/610377122370167/

All the walk links are there, as well as any upcoming fundraisers we may have going on.  I believe raising money for cancer research, is part of my new role as Ellie's mommy! A role I'm getting used to, but will be tough without my girl there! 

I ask for prayers of peace for us, that we will remember to seek Him, breathe in His peace. And I praise Him for the crazy distraction this little girl has been!

Little Miss SG has become quite the character!

Prayers, Praise and Peace

Carly...aka Ellie's Mommy

A year ago

A year ago today, I was a parent of two with one on the way. I had gone to work, which was a rarity lately with Ellie being sick and no one knowing what was wrong with her. I left work early to go to my own OB appointment that I had rescheduled twice. Richard had stayed home with Ellie, and once again called the pediatrician with an update that she wasn't doing any different. I reminded him to mention that one side of her face wasn't moving. As I left my own doctors appointment, Richard called me as a van that looked like my mom's pulled in behind me at my doctors office. Richard was calling to say that they wanted him to bring Ellie to the ER again, they were going to do a CT scan, he didn't want me to panic, but had called my mom to do whatever she could. I drove home with Noah, chatting while mom followed me. As I pulled in the driveway an hour later my phone rang again...it was Richard, with panic in his voice I heard, "they found a mass in her head, you need to get here". God covered me with calmness, as I told mom and ran I the house to pack a bag...what in the world do you pack at this point? Pretty sure I wandered aimlessly and left. I drove the hour drive in traffic....more panicked about finding them once I got to the hospital...UVA used to intimidate me. As I walked into the ER, there stood Preacher and his wife, looking for Richard and Ellie too. I was so grateful to see a familiar face to help me navigate the halls and find my child. I remember the doors of the PICU opening, the first face I saw was a nurse who knew who I was immediately and flagged me down...I don't remember much after that,it was all a whirlwind, lots of talking, I don't think tears, and off she went to surgery. 

Looking back, I can't believe that was a year ago...it seems like yesterday, but also seems so long ago, all at the same time. A year later I am the mom of 3, but I still only physically have two with me, which I've found is hard to answer when people ask you how many children you have. In the past year I have watched SG grow from quiet and calm baby to all out crazy lady. Noah has grown to have an amazing grasp of life and death, he asks fantastic questions, and cries just as much as he always has....he's so my kid! 

I find myself questioning things I never thought much about before. I think about heaven so much. I wonder what it is like now. I find it hard to be a mom and not know completely where your child is or what she's doing...I've often tried to explain this to others and I can't ever find the right ways to describe it. When Ellie was 800 miles away in Memphis, I could point to a map and know where she was. I could FaceTime her and see her face, even if she wasn't smiling, I knew how she was feeling. I could call her and hear all about her day. Richard could text me pictures to make me smile when I missed her most.  The mom in me wants to know she's okay...or should I say see and hear she's okay.  I "know" she's okay...but I wasn't able to go ahead of her and scope it out before hand. I know nothing about what heaven is right now. I know of the heaven that John saw in Revelation, but that's the new heaven and earth.

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:1-5 NIV)

 

I find myself reading and rereading Revelation, hoping for a clue, something I missed that would give me a hint about the present heaven. For a few weeks I struggled with this...probably not searching the right places for the answers I so desperately wanted. Often forgetting to turn the only one who could answer my questions, instead turning to google to search for answers. Preacher said something on Sunday that stuck with me...he leaves you in the strain for a reason. There's a reason I'm stuck in this state of questioning, possibly so that I will look more to him for answers, since man and google's answers aren't satisfying me. I hope this makes sense, possibly not to someone that has never been in my shoes before, but I truly hope by sharing these moments of confusion, someone else can relate. 

My understanding of Gods love and purpose for our lives has grown so much. Noah asked me one night if I wished people never died...I didn't know how to answer him.  Do I miss her, yes? Would I like to have her back, absolutely! Do I understand why she's not here...yes. If death is in Gods will, I can't wish it didn't happen...of course that was pretty tough to explain to a 5 year old. I am completely changed. Before this all happened, I just believed God loved me and he would take care of me, I honestly didn't think much about it. A year later, I have seen how God loves me, I have experienced how he cares for me, I have seen and heard.  I have all the proof I need.  

A year ago, after her first surgery...finally smiling again!

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:9-13 NIV)

Prayers, Praise, and Pink

Carly

The Ocean

I've had many people say they don't know how we do it. They are amazed at our strength and faith. I don't want to paint the picture it's always easy, and that I don't struggle. I wrote this the other when trying to explain my faith and relationship with The Lord these days.

"Faith like an ocean...It's big, I'm not sure of the percentage, but I like to think it covers 100% of my being. Like the ocean, my faith is always there, you can't drain it dry. Some days I feel miles and miles from it...like it's the winter time and I long to bask in it's rays.  But the only way to get there is to get in the car and drive there. That's when I pray and read and pray some more....and cry. And sometimes the sun comes out slowly over the ocean and sometimes it's just cloudy. Sometimes my ocean is very stormy, I'm close to it, but I just can't stand the ups and downs of the waves, I feel like it's beating me up with all the conflicting thoughts that come crashing on me. Other days my ocean is calm and beautiful, and I can sit beside it and bask in the sunshine and feel complete peace. No matter what the state of my ocean, I love it, it's my favorite place to be.  I wish it was easier to get to some days, but no matter what, it's always there, I just have to get to it.  The best part of my ocean these days, is it always has a pink sunset over it."

It's not easy, I will never proclaim that because I am a believer, losing a child is a piece of cake. But I will proclaim that because I am a believer I have hope that I will see my daughter again in the place preparred for us. Because I am a believer God deals with my ocean, he doesn't get mad on those days where I am miles away. He helps me find the right roads to get to it. He doesn't let the storms last long and then he ends the day with a beautiful pink sky to help me smile. He takes care of us, He loves us, unconditionally.

He gives me joy.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

Prayers, Praise, and Pink

Carly

Our Birthday Girl

Her true birthday!

1st Birthday

2nd Birthday

3rd Birthday

 

Maybe its good I waited a little while to write.  I attempted to start this the night of her actual birthday, but I was just too tired and overwhelmed to get words on the screen.  I tried again yesterday, but I just couldn't find my happy place. So I quit trying to force things and I went to count pj's.  PJ's you may ask...why yes!  In honor of Ellie's 3rd birthday I wanted to do something in her honor.  I wanted to help out someone else, and I wanted it to be something Ellie would approve of!  So I contacted our Jesus loving, Doc McStuffins singing nurse from the PICU about the mission she volunteers with.  They run a shelter, and one of her ideas was pj's and stuffed animals. It was perfect!  Ellie thought princess nightgowns were amazing, and honestly there was nothing sweeter then seeing her twirl in one!  And she adored stuffed animals...although at times she refused to sleep with them because they wouldn't close their eyes! She was a nut!  So the Jammie Jam was created!

 

 

PJ's began to show up in the mail and on the porches of my collection helpers.  Ellie's reach continued on.  At a family gathering this past weekend, we decorated bandanas to put on the stuffed animals, they ended up looking like super hero capes, which I think is completely appropriate! 

 

 

Each bandana had the scripture "Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work. Jer 1:5" My new favorite verse!  I cannot wait for the children and families who visit this shelter to feel the love that went into these!  For them to know that no matter what they are going through, God has already planned it all out, and thought it may seem hard at the moment, He is in control.  At last count there were 320 stuffed animals and 516 pairs of pj's.  Amazing!  Sorting the pj's was hard...so many of them made me think of her, so much makes me think of her, but girly princess pj's really send me down memory lane. 

Since we couldn't do Rapunzel lanterns for her birthday, we found lighted pink balloons. They were perfect, and looked beautiful in the night sky...they were fit for a princess!

 

Yes, we are in our PJ's...it was a pajama party after all!

 

While all this was fun and felt so good to be helping someone else....it doesn't make any of it easier.  The days get harder, and I have to continually ask God to give me strength, even if its just for the next few moments.  Sometimes I only have to ask once a day, sometimes multiple times a day.  Sometimes its for myself, sometimes for Richard.  And the nice part is, God always delivers.  Sometimes I forget to thank him afterwards, but so thankful He doesn't hold it against me.

 

As I look back at her birthdays, I'm reminded of two things....it always snows near her birthday and there are always people around who love her, even when she can't be at the party.  It was so very hard not spending her day physically with her.  I love making fun parties for my kids, I love cute decorations and yummy food.  I love having all my family and friends around who love us.  This was a new version of a birthday party, cute décor, yummy food, but the presents weren't for the birthday girl, they were in her honor.  I don't know if she could see her party, I don't know if she could feel it, but I hope she knows it was a house full of love and a few tears, but all for her.

 

 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Prayers, Praise and Pink

~Carly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Short but Sweet

"Dear Ellie,

When you are 3, every day is a new adventure. You are learning and growing each day. You are a beautiful little girl whose life and love have touched everyone you've met. Keep shining, singing, laughing, playing, learning and living. I hope your 3rd birthday is full of magic and surprises."

This letter was written at my baby shower for Ellie. My sister had everyone write letters to her for each birthday. I found them today while working on Ellie's room. Tears immediately filled my eyes and my heart broke, I'm sure you can imagine why, then I couldn't resist reading #3, even though I knew I probably shouldn't...plus it's not her birthday yet.  This letter was written to Ellie, when she wasn't even born yet. No one knew the color of her hair yet, how chubby she would be, or that she would have the best dimple in the world. No one knew the path she would take, except God. And the story behind the person who wrote it, is pretty special too at this moment...but that for a whole other blog. 

As hard as today as been staring at piles of pink stuffed animals and blankets, finding her baby book I never wrote it, and sorting hair bows, remembering exactly what outfit she work with what....this is more proof to me that The Lord has truly laid out our path in life long before we were ever conceived.  And as much as I don't like the feelings of today, anger towards my situation, crazy with the battle of my flesh vs my hope in The Lord, helpless that this will never feel better...I know that He has a plan for all this.  There's a reason for the pain, there's a reason for birthday letters she won't read, there's a reason she had 500,000 stuffed animals (okay so I'm exaggerating a little, but there is a ton), there's a reason SG will only ever know her sister though stories, there's a reason for all the people that have been brought into my life, there's a reason her life was only 1061 days long. And I guess the reason I don't understand all of it at the moment, is God wants to have a good long chat with me when I get to heaven. I can't wait to connect all the dots, although I'm starting to see some of the lines, and they are beautiful.  To just think The Lord orchestrated this whole life just for me, for Ellie, for Noah, for all of us. Makes you feel kinda special.

I miss her with every inch of my being, especially as we prepare to celebrate her birthday without her physically here. It will be another part of our beautiful journey and I am so grateful to be surrounded by the people God has put into my life, that hold me up, even when they don't realize it.

 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him

Lamentations 3: 22-25

Prayers, Praise and Pink

Carly

There's this hole

I'm pretty sure the hole is somewhere in my chest, probably in my heart. It's not diagnosed by any doctor, but I feel it almost every day. Sometimes I can feel it more than others. I know what put it there, but I'm pretty sure there isn't any way to repair it, at least not before Jesus comes again. Sometimes it feels like I can caulk up the hole, so that I can keep the good feeling in. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try, the hole just opens wide and all the happy and good flows out of it. Some days the hole feels really hollow, like when I breathe my stomach can touch my back because there is nothing in there. Some times the hole just takes my breath away. 

The hole used to be filled up with a little girl. Even though she always wanted to kiss her Daddy instead of me, I love her beyond words. I miss her more than I can explain. Her silly words still ring in my ear, and times I catch myself twirling my own hair or that of a pony. I snuggle her blanket and her monkey daily, hoping maybe a little of that joy will close up some of that hole.

A hole is the best way I can explain how I feel, losing my child. Go figure, I did my research project in grad school on grief....so I know all the stages and know that people all deal differently....so I won't begin to assume that my experience is the same as any one else's, but I can tell you what my experience has been like depending on The Lord. If you had asked me 5 years ago how I thought it would feel to lose a child, I probably would have told you it would be devistating, that I don't know how I would move on.  Even if you had asked me when Ellie was first diagnosed, I probably would have said the same thing. No one really wants to think about what it feels like to have your child die, it brings pain. And I have to tell you, that now I'm still look around and say "this is it" no endless days of sobbing, no inability to eat, no days where I can't get out of bed.....at least not yet.  I can only attribute that to a God who's strength is made perfect in my weakness. I used to think I was a pretty tough cookie, I mean don't get me wrong I'm a crier (if you could see the pile of tissues beside me)...but in the chaos, I can stay calm.  I can hold others and offer them comforting words.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." 2 Cor 1:3-5

It's not me who is strong it's God gives me that strength. He gives me the strength to smile each day, to enjoy my kids, to look for the joy in things (even if that joy soon drips out of the hole).  And when I don't feel the strength for any of this, I tell Him. I won't say I hear some loud voice from above say "okay Carly, I'll take it from here"....sure wish I did some days...but I know when I tell Him my heart hurts...me mends the hole a little. I don't think that hole will ever go away, not sure how it could. But this hole I have reminds me of Paul's thorn. 

"or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 

I don't think one day God will just take all the saddness away that was caused by Ellie's death. He won't just erase the hole, as if it never happened.  My hole is a reminder that God will bring me though each and every day.  He brought me through an event most would find tragic, and I'm still smiling. His grace is enough to help me through, I don't need him to get rid if it.  It's like Mater's dents (from Cars 2....sorry to derail from the biblical train...but it works!) Mater didn't want his dent gone because it reminded him of his friend McQueen...sure it didn't look nice, but it was a reminder. My hole is my reminder of my friend Jesus, who has helped me every step of the way.  

Prayers, Praise and Pink

Carly

New Years Thoughts

Noah always says "Nana says when you are on a long car ride, if you do something it goes faster"...and then he falls asleep.  On our way to my in law's house today, these thoughts just came rolling through, and sure enough, before I knew it, we were there (its really only an hour ride, but to a 5 year old, that's an eternity!

When I hit the Facebook button about your highlights of 2013, you can guess what most of mine focused around! 2013 was tough and I think that's saying it lightly. 2013 will forever be the year we gained a child and lost a child here on earth. It will be the year I finally broke down and bought a minivan(which I now love). The year I learned I cannot plan out the rest of my life and I must focus  on today. The year we learned what cancer is and what havoc it can wreck and what it can never take away. The year we learned what a long state Tennessee is and that airports aren't so scary. The year I spent more time in a hospital the ever before. The year I learned that St. Jude is a real place, with amazing people, and it really is free. The year I learned just how strong God was going to make me. The year I had to explain things like, tumors, chemo, surgery, hair loss, death, funerals, caskets and cemeteries to a 5 year old. The year that 5 year old carried me through the toughest moment of my life. The year I saw the town of Orange turn pink. The year I attempted to learn that this is my family and I cannot compare it to anyone else's or worry so much what others think (still working on that one!) The year I learned that I must carry out what God has started in my life, I cannot hide from it, run from it, it's His plan, I asked Him to use me and He is, not always in the way I had dreamed, but then again, it's not my plan. The year I saw he true benefit of social media. The year my little girl helped raise over $25,000 for St. Jude. The year my marriage would be put to the test and survive all the tears, heart ache, yelling, distance, frustrations, birth of a child and the death of one.  The year I learned what "peace that passes all understanding" means. 
The year I learned you just have to let some things go, not all arguments have to be won, and I don't always have to be right(that's a hard pill to swallow!)  Grudges are dumb, anger that you hold on to is dumb because all it does is waste time, and time, is way too precious. Any of us could be gone tomorrow, we had warning Ellie was leaving us, we had time to show her just how much we love her and how much God loves her.  Not everyone gets that warning, would the people in your life know how much you care if they were gone tomorrow? Would your children know how much God loves them.  That was something that we started to really focus on with Ellie and Noah once we got the news of Ellie's spread.  I know I never really told them that God loves them more then I do, I think as a parent, we want them to think no one loves them more then we do, but there is one! Nothing was sweeter then hearing Ellie answer "Jesus" when asked who loves her most. I used to ask Ellie if I could keep her forever, hoping some miraculous answer may come from her, she'd just look at me and smile and say "no".  As much as that hurt, I knew it was the truth.
Now with all that we learned in 2013, what do we do with 2014? I think that's where we are stuck now. How do we take what has happened in our lives and use it for good? How do we share our lives, our love and what we have learned and really make something out of it.  I know I've shared our family for almost a year now, you have all experienced our smiles and our tears. I want to do more, I don't know what. God usually opens the door, and leads, I struggle lately because in typical Carly fashion, I'd like him to open that door right now, with a billboard blinking in neon lights, saying "go this way".  Richard talked about relevance, our lives have been too touched, too blessed, too encouraged to not be relevant. We have too much to just stop here.

So I ask for prayers of guidance and wisdom. Prayers of open ears and hearts. I wish I could say each day gets easier, it doesn't. I think with each day the numbness wears off and the pain is more real.  As we do more "normal" things, it become more obvious one of us is missing.  There is still an empty seat in our house, that isn't easy to fill.  I hear her silly words and giggles all the time and I'm grateful for them.  I am enjoying going back and looking through old pictures, remembering the spitfire she was.  I'm so thankful for my phone and the videos and pictures it holds, I know I will be working harder this year to take more pictures of my kids, because on a bad day, it makes all the difference! I can't really say there are bad days, just bad moments, and they pass.  I have no doubt the Lord will carry us through this valley too and we will look back with a smile and praise Him for it!

 

I've used this scripture before, but tonight it seems "relevant"....

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.  All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor 4:8-18

 

Prayers, Praise and Pink

~ Carly