With each new "special day" that occurs in our family, with out Ellie, is hard. Our anniversary, which you don't normally consider your children a part of, was rough, (possibly because I attempted to bake a lasagna in the oven and the whole pan exploded, which left us going out to dinner with two children at 7:00). We survived that evening okay, and I think ended up having some great conversations...all because of an exploded lasagna (God works in the best, and in our case, messiest ways!)
So today brought about another "special day" that Ellie is not physically here for. However, today went better than previous "special days". Today my sweet SG turned 1. I'm pretty sure this was the fastest year of our lives ever.
A year ago God started showing his hand in orchestrating her story. Preacher had gone to visit Richard and Ellie. Ellie was undergoing her first inpatient chemo, she "just happened" to be released from the hospital the same day Preacher planned on driving back home to VA. The doctors' just happened to decided that if they pushed Ellie's schedule by one day, she could come home for her sister's birth. My sister and I giggle when we hear about coincidences, I just don't believe in them anymore, it's just a God thing.
So now, 1 year later, this little girl who came into the world amongst chaos, is turning 1.
I thank God for this sweet girl. When we found out we were pregnant with SG, I spent days trying to figure it all out, where kids were going to sleep, how I was going to get Noah to school when I was on maternity leave....doing all the typical Carly panicking/planning, I do so well. We made it pretty smoothly through 7 months of pregnancy before Ellie got sick. They I started trying to figure out how in the world we were going to make our new lives work. How was I going to have a child by myself, how was I going to be able to handle not seeing Ellie while she was in the hospital, how were we going to survive without working. What have all these "panics" taught me? The Lord will provide...for every single one of these. I didn't have to worry about getting Noah all the way to another county for school while I was on maternity leave, a placement in a local preschool had opened up, and the teachers went to our church. I didn't have to have a child by myself, God brought them home. People were touched by our story and provided iPads so we could see each other daily. Amazing coworkers provided sick days, so that I had a paycheck while I wasn't working. And when we had to pull Noah out of Kindergarten this past year, his old preschool teacher (who goes to our church) was now teaching Kindergarten at his new school. I'm not sure how you can't look back on this whole ordeal and not see God in the midst of it all
God provided His grace in the form of a chubby little girl, with the same name. She daily reminds me of her sister. She has fallen in love with pink monkey, and often points to pictures of her sisters and smiles or giggles. She drives Noah crazy, by always trying to get to his toys, and I'm counting down to the day where she starts hitting him, just like Ellie used to. And then I will once again hear "Mommmmmmmyyyyy, she's hitting me!" And the noise will come back to my house. It won't be the same noise, but it will be nice to hear again (please remind me I said that, when I'm ready to lock them up in their rooms)
My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
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