(Since its been forever...just remember, these are my journal entries from the trip...and maybe a little bit more added in...my mind was racing at the end of this day, so forgive any jumbled thoughts, I was just completely in awe of all God had put together that day!)
I woke up beyond excited for our boxes to come out! We drove over mountains to an awesome pink sky!
We were welcomed with open arms and sweet smiles. As boxes were unpacked, the brightness of the boxes was awesome from all the stickers we had decorated with, in fact I ended up with a sticker on my pants within minutes, smiled and thought of Daddy's jeans and a social worker's skirt that Ellie stickered.
This sweet team I'm on, who I just met this week, wanted Richard and I to hand out the first boxes of the day. In the first group of the day there was girl with a shirt that read "let love shine" in glittery pink...of course I went and chatted with her, I just couldn't help myself!
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| I adore this picture, it reminds me of that exact feeling I had watching all these kids open boxes packed in Ellie's memory and all that God had done in our family since Ellie's death. |
Later someone found me to let me know her mother had passed away a few months ago, so I grabbed her a special fleece blanket and brought it over to her, talked to her about praying, about heaven and about sadness. I told her to think about her mom when she snuggled that blanket and about her new friends that are praying for her.
Then there was a little girl names Ariel...who I of course called Princess Ariel! She loved listening to the story of Jesus and wanted to do the wordless track over and over with me, she had it memorized by the time she left!
Another friend came in with a Hope shirt on, and I immediately went to sit with her, and got to have her in my small group, and later on met her sister as well.
In my group was a sweet girl who ended up with a "In memory of Ellie" sticker in her box. So I shared with her who Ellie was. Her mom ended up posting to Facebook later that night, a picture of the sticker (Hold Me just came on the radio) and about her daughter getting to talk with me and her teacher commented on the post about how special that little girl felt having that sticker in there.
Richard and I had chosen to fast for the day, so during lunch time we stayed back from the cafeteria and we got to help/watch with an Easter Egg hunt in Kindergarten.
Our last groups of the day were the older kids, 6th-8th graders, and that's an age group that I didn't have much to do with (I'm used to little people) I didn't think I did middle schoolers very well. There was a skit that was done for the older kids, and that day I had to fill in for someone in the skit, and usually afterwords I usually go sit in the bleachers with the kids, but with 6th grade, I choose to stand to the side against the wall after my part was done. A different pastor was with us today, Pastor Dave, He delivered a very strong testimony to the group of kids about struggling with poverty, abuse and drugs and how accepting Jesus was the best decision he had ever made, because He took those sins and mistakes and washed them away, how it's not easy to make all those changes, but they are the best changes. I watched the kids heads nod in agreement to his story, because they got it and they understood drug abuse and parents not around. He asked them to bow their heads and he began to pray for them, and then asked if any of them would like to make that decision, that it wouldn't be easy but it would be good - do they want to follow Jesus. Typically during this time, we are supposed to have our eyes closed, but I opened my eyes this time - I just wanted to see what God was doing. As I watched 30 or so hands go in the air, I just started crying, again, humbled that God let me be a part of this. Pastor Dave asked them to come talk to a team member if they had rasied their hands. As the kids were coming down to talk, I didn't move. I don't know if I was scared or being selfish, I was crying, I was excited and still a little nervous because I didn't relate to this age group well. There were still a bunch of kids in the bleachers, and I was still glued to the wall, finally God said "move Carly", and I remembered what had happened when I let go and listened to God the day before, so I walked over to that group in the bleachers, as I was walking over, this girl's eyes met mine and as they met I knew I was meant to talk to her - I could see she had been crying. I asked her if she wanted to talk, she said "no, I'm good". Another team member had been sitting with her, trying to talk to her. Again I invited her to go talk, and she put me off again, telling me she was fine....every part of me just wanted to say "ok" and walk away, but I didn't. I looked right at her and said "look at my eyes, I'm crying, your crying, lets go cry together" and she reached out her hand and down from the bleachers she came.
She was a little nervous and not sure what to say to me. So I told her I'd go first and tell her why I was crying then she could tell me her reason. Again, I used my cancer story, I told her about Ellie. I told her why I was in Kentucky. I told her about the boxes we had made. As I talked, her eyes got bigger and bigger. Once I was done she told me her uncle had just died from cancer and she felt so sad, and was struggling because everyone else in her family seemed fine now. She then shared she had another uncle just diagnosed with cancer and no one knew if he was going to live. My heart skipped a million beats and I knew at that moment - this was my divine appointment. I told her I knew before I left for this trip there was going to be one student who was the whole reason I came, and she was it. We talked and cried some more. Someone brought over a Hope Box for her and it was one of ours. She opened it, and in the lid was a label that said "May you always be brave enough to fly" Again her eyes got big and she just grinned from ear to ear, I think she was seeing how God had brought the two of us together.
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| Again, so thankful for those who caught these moments! |
The next crew rolled, 7th and 8th grade. Again that powerful testimony delivered, again I stood to the side, and this time a young lady came down right away to talk to me. Her story was sad, foster care, 3 younger sisters she raised. A sister who cried herself to sleep. Her mom wasn't a mom (her words). Had just met her dad last year, thought he was trying to get custody of her, but she was worried she'd have to leave her sisters. She had cut herself in the past and had to get help for that. All she wanted me to pray for was her mom to get it together. So much strength in a 13 year old. We got her a Bible and marked one of my favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11. She was so intrigued by the Bible and how to look up verses. She sweetly said, "I'm gonna keep this on my night stand."
As we were packing up her class was still sitting in the gym, she came back over and just kept chatting with me. I found more random things to give her like a bracelet, but I always had to make sure there was enough for all her sisters, and her foster mom...what a sweet heart this girl had. She also ended up with a box with a Princess Ellie sticker inside it.
The absolutely amazing thing - I never got hungry all day! I've faster numerous times and usually by noon I'm ready to eat my arm, yesterday by dinner my stomach had growled once.
Before we left on this mission trip, I was so scared, scared of not doing it right, scared of saying the wrong thing. I had never led anyone to Jesus before, what if I messed up the words? I've talked to my own kids about Jesus a million times, I've taught in the church, but never asked a child "do you really know Jesus?" I even made sure before we left that they would let us watch a few groups of kids before they let us loose with kids. But in the end, I learned that it wasn't about the perfect words...I was not there to preach or deliver grand messages, I was there for that young lady. Cancer was what ended up connecting us, not some vast amount of biblical knowledge. All God wanted me to do was share my story, not give a whole lot of information that might go over someone's head, just share what God had done in my life, let the walls down, let the tears flow, and tell the story.
I walked out of that school on cloud nine. I knew there was going to be "that kid" but each day before Rosspoint, I felt like I was trying to make it happen, instead of patiently waiting for God's timing.
Its fun to look back at this post from before we left. The exact things I asked for prayer about were answered...God is so cool!
If you'd like to see more pictures of the amazing trip we had, enjoy this video!
Prayers, Praise and Pink
~ Carly
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