I'm not Superwoman

I've heard this song a million times, even made sure it was on a CD I gave to my Mom at my wedding...but it's never meant more to me than today. I'd really be struggling with the nursing thing and all the set backs we've had and my lack of enjoyment of it. I knew I should be thanking the Lord for my child and the ability to feed her and not stressing the pain, but I wasn't doing that. I kept thinking I should enjoy this, I should do this with a smile on my face, while making dinner and doing the laundry....but that's not me! I had that moment of clarity last night. We are now fighting mastitis...if you've never experienced this, feel lucky...however since I've had it before, I saw it right away and called the doctor and got meds before it got bad. I was snuggling on the couch with Ellie, which never happens for some reason, and I realized I was so much more than just her source of food. I helped give her life, I dieted for 9 months to keep her safe and healthy, I change her diapers and pick out cute clothes for her (which I know she will be thankful for one day), I wake up in the middle of the night to feed her, and most importantly I give her love. My value as a mom isn't dependant upon how my child is fed...of course typing this, I think..DUH! But when you're in the throws on new babydom, you forget these things! So Ellie had her first pumped bottle last night and guess what...she survived and so did I! And a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. This is who I am, this is what we did with Noah and he is alive and kicking! This is what makes me happy - I don't have to be the cookie cutter perfect Mommy, I just have to be me, even if it includes a pump and a bottle! Because no matter what - I'm somebody's hero!

(P.S. I do realize that my husband does just as much as I do....can't forget to give him credit too, because he's my hero!)